And the award for most humiliating news story this week goes to Kent Online, for shaming one of the 1980s’ most iconic figures.
Who, Tabard hears you ask? Madonna? Debbie Harry? Cher? No. Tiffany. Tabard is talking about Tiffany. And if you don’t know who that is, she’s the one who had the hit song I Think We’re Alone Now. And that other hit… no, wait. There really was just the one.
Poor Tiffany was humiliated this week when Kent Online ran a story about a concert she is giving at the Hazlitt Theatre in Maidstone. Sales for the show, it reported, have not been good.
According to the site, Tiffany was due to sing to just 110 fans. But, to spare her blushes, the theatre organised a giveaway and managed to get another 100 people committed to coming along. “The 46-year-old singer will now have at least 210 people at her show,” the site reported, adding: “Prior to the Hazlitt’s generosity, tickets had cost £25 and Tiffany was at risk of playing to only a fraction of the Earl Street theatre’s capacity of 382.”
Blimey, don’t hold back, will you? If that wasn’t embarrassing enough, the news site went on to report that: “While tickets are no longer free, they are heavily discounted and now cost just £10.”
Poor Tiffany. But fair play to the theatre for doing what it can to make sure she doesn’t sing I Think We’re Alone Now to an empty auditorium.