Get our free email newsletter with just one click

Diary: Ringing praise for town crier as bell ends yobs’ pursuit

Alan Myatt at a Stage party at Theatre Royal Drury Lane. Photo: Stephanie Methven
by -

Long term visitors to The Stage’s annual new year’s shindig at the Theatre Royal Drury Lane may remember being greeted at the doors by a booming voice, coming from an imposing body. No, not former editor Brian Attwood, but Alan Myatt, a professional town crier who introduced proceedings for this paper’s annual event.

Up until now, Tabard has only known Myatt’s enthusiastic bell ringing and shouting in people’s faces in relation to this event. But last week an article in newspaper Metro caught Tabard’s eye – because a familiar face was starring back at him. It seems Myatt has been causing quite a stir in Gloucester, after a ding dong in the city centre required him to take drastic action.

According to Metro, the town crier was going about his business, giving it all the ‘oyez oyez’ he could muster, when three teenagers on bikes started to intimidate him. “They tried to grab my hat,” he said, “and I fended them off and carried on walking.” Shocking. He continued: “They came at me from behind and I managed to fend them off again. One guy grabbed my hat and wig. I grabbed him. He fell off his bike and dropped my things.” And then – the crucial part – “I threw my bell at him and he scarpered.”

Well look at that! A complete bellend getting his comeuppance with a bell end. Who would have thought it? That’ll teach those pesky teenagers. And well done Alan – Tabard is always happy to give you a ringing endorsement.


We need your help…

When you subscribe to The Stage, you’re investing in our journalism. And our journalism is invested in supporting theatre and the performing arts.

The Stage is a family business, operated by the same family since we were founded in 1880. We do not receive government funding. We are not owned by a large corporation. Our editorial is not dictated by ticket sales.

We are fully independent, but this means we rely on revenue from readers to survive.

Help us continue to report on great work across the UK, champion new talent and keep up our investigative journalism that holds the powerful to account. Your subscription helps ensure our journalism can continue.