Diary: Take the Slow Boat with Arnie to Diss Saigon

Little orphan Arnie?
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Tabard was hugely entertained this week by a hashtag on Twitter that asked users to ruin musicals by changing one letter of the title. After hours whiled away trawling through the thousands of suggestions – who knew there were that many musicals? – several brilliant offerings emerged from the many mediocre efforts.

Particularly good were The Pilates of Penzance (Tabard can just imagine the Major General in sweat pants getting ready for his weekly class), Beauty and the Yeast (in which Beast is accepted on to next year’s Great British Bake Off), Jesus Christ Supper Star, On a Clear Day You Can Wee Forever and Less Miserable (well, that musical could hardly get any more miserable, could it?).

Inspired by these efforts, Tabard decided to join in with the fun. To kick off, how about that Benny Andersson and Bjorn Ulvaeus classic Cress (not to everyone’s tastes but it will grow on you!). Or the exploding nanny Mary Popping?

Young bits of rope come of age in String Awakening (that’s quite a yarn), a street urchin turns to alcoholism in Oh Liver! and Tabard’s stylist gets elocution lessons in My Hair Lady. Perhaps its popularity will eventually wane once Everybody’s Balking About Jamie, and the characters love a lie-in during Sunday in the Dark With George.

Then there’s We Will Mock You, The Light in the Pizza, Merrily We Roll A Log and, finally, The Loin King. Can you believe it only took Tabard two days to come up with these gems?

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