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Diary: Doktor Haze to fight political horrors in Brighton

Doktor Haze. Photo: Circus of Horrors Doktor Haze. Photo: Circus of Horrors
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With Donald J Trump the sitting president of the United States, politics has descended far enough into a veritable circus of horrors (not counting the clowns standing for prime minister). But it would seem that Trump’s victory has only served to inspire a real-life Circus of Horrors to enter the political fray.

Tabard is, of course, referring to the rock horror Britain’s Got Talent act The Circus of Horrors, also known as Doktor Haze (or John Hayes Mabley to his mum), who is standing as an independent in Brighton Kemptown against Lib Dem, Labour and Tory candidates.

In his ‘monster manifesto’, Doktor Haze says he was inspired to stand by the broken promises and false claims of politicians gone by (I hear you Doktor).

Now, there’s not much about the arts in there, my friends, it’s got to be said, but he does want 1970s club nights to play “real” 1970s music – Alice Cooper, the Sex Pistols, Black Sabbath and strictly no Abba (so no votes from the cast of Mamma Mia!, then). There’s also some stuff about Brexit and party whips but there’s really no need to dwell on the trivial.

However, Doktor Haze’s political ambitions aside, once a performer, always a performer – you’ve got to hand it to him – because even in his manifesto, he is still trying to drum up audiences. Under his leadership, anyone that volunteers to give blood will get a free ticket to The Circus of Horrors. No rest for the wicked, eh?

Send stories to tabard@thestage.co.uk

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