Get our free email newsletter with just one click

Diary: All in a Daniel Day’s work for West End Producer

by -

It’s that time of year again, when authors are publishing books across all genres in the hope they’ll make it to the top of the charts.

There are autobiographies, cookbooks and of course plenty of fiction to get your juices flowing. Then there’s West End Producer’s new book – Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Going to the Theatre (But Were Too Sloshed to Ask, Dear).

Described as the “ultimate guide to theatregoing”, the book is full of hilarious but accurate Theatreland references.

It even includes a lovely section on critics, including a reference to the Teddy Bear reviewers, described as “cuddly bears who shuffle along to press nights and get angry if their seats are uncomfortable”.

These reviewers, it adds, spend their weekends “rewatching shows they’ve already seen a dozen times”. Tabard has absolutely no idea who he could be talking about.

Then there’s a nod to The Stage’s very own awards. Described as “attractive glass” awards that “are best cleaned using a dry cloth, a bit of spit, and a gentle rotating motion”. Quite right.

WEP also recalls his first visit to the National, which he describes as “a labyrinth”. “I got so confused I ended up walking on stage during a particularly emotional scene in Hamlet,” he recalls.

“It was all rather alarming, especially when Daniel Day-Lewis ran at me with a prop dagger.” Wonderful.

Send stories to tabard@thestage.co.uk