Frisky response to prophet of doom Gary

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Can’t be doing with The X Factor. Ever since trying out for series one with a fantastic rendition of Don’t Rain on My Parade and being rejected, Tabard just hasn’t felt right watching it. But every now and then word gets back about what’s been going on, despite one’s best efforts to block it out.

Anyway, Tabard hears that Gary Barlow is now a judge on the show – the name sounds familiar, but it’s hard to place – and that he has been upsetting performers by calling some of the acts “too cabaret”.

Not naturally the shy, retiring types, cabaret acts have taken unkindly to Barlow’s remarks. A video has appeared on an internet site by the name of YouTube – no idea what that is, but it sounds exciting – that apparently features performers, including an act known as Frisky and Mannish, responding to Gary’s comments in the form of a song. The premise is that a member of one of the acts has auditioned for The X Factor and is reporting back to the others on what Gary said to him, including that cabaret is an “old French word that means bum face cringe failure”.

The song, which then parodies an X Factor charity single, continues: “Cabaret, don’t give in to cabaret, don’t wear something that suggests you’re gay, you want the public to like you. Say no to cabaret, keep away from that cruise buffet. Put your feathers down and walk away – this is Gary’s decree.”

Well, had to chuckle. To be honest, Tabard would much rather watch a “bum face cringe failure” over The X Factor, any day.