Recent posts in the Square Eyes category

Coronation Street (Friday 7.30/8.30pm, ITV1)

I wish Steve and Michelle would just get over it and move on, allowing Corrie get stuck in to some decent storylines again. Tonight, ‘Chelle is all on for chucking the ring away, which only gives Simon Gregson more chance to do some of that fine gurning he’s perfected over the years. What is it with the soaps? With Steve and Michelle, Corrie had one of its best couples in years, but as always, the writers can’t resist mucking around with a good thing. Just stop it!

Celebrity Masterchef (Friday 8.30pm, BBC1)

It’s all getting very tense in the Celebrity Masterchef kitchen, and tonight, one of our hopefuls will be kicked out of the competition. Will Andi Peters recover from his raw partridge disaster? Can Mark Monaghan sort out his presentation? Will Louis Emerick’s soufflé see him through? And will Liz off of Atomic Kitten just carry on being scrummy and lovely? As always though, will any of it be enough to impress John and Gregg, let alone the three joyless restaurant critics who always manage to annoy me?

Comedy Connections (Friday 10.35pm, BBC1)

A welcome return for this light but always-enjoyable documentary series that looks at some of our greatest TV comedies and the names that made them. Tonight’s labyrinthine journey goes behind the scenes on Till Death Us Do Part, and includes interviews with Una Stubbs, Tony Booth and Alf Garnett himself, Warren Mitchell. Till Death is high on the list of most socially important sit-coms of all time, and this is good stuff from all concerned.

Hadrian (Saturday 8pm, BBC2)

Dan Snow, with typical ebullience, sets off on a journey to find out more about Roman emperor Hadrian and discover if there’s more to him than just a wall near the Scottish border. Thankfully there is, or this would be a very short documentary. Snow’s enthusiasm for his subject is always infectious, making this an enjoyable hour. The film ties in to the British Museum’s forthcoming exhibition, Hadrian: Empire and Conflict.

Casualty (Saturday 8.20pm, BBC1)

With a tedious singing competition on ITV and the revival of a 70s sports show on Five, there’s little choice but to find solace in that perennial Saturday night drama Casualty. It’s never top of my list these days, but that’s not to say the old warhorse doesn’t still have something going for it. But when, oh when, did everybody start sleeping with each other? It’s amazing the patients ever get any care while the staff at Holby A&E are carrying out examinations on each other. Tonight, some extra-marital chicanery has nasty consequences when Jessica and Sean’s son is in an accident while they are both in bed with their lovers. Ouch! Oh, and there might be some medical stuff happening too.

Comics Britannia (Saturday 9.30pm, BBC2)

A terrestrial run for this lovely little documentary series previously shown on BBC4, showcasing the tradition of comics in Great Britain. The first, and best, looks at the rise of the Beano and the Dandy, comics that kept children enthralled in their millions through the likes of Desperate Dan, Little Plum, Lord Snooty, Mini the Minx and, of course, Dennis the Menace. Talking heads contributions are from Steve Bell, Jacqueline Wilson and Michael Rosen, along with some of the creative minds who brought these characters to life.

The Great Escape (Sunday 5.15pm, BBC2)

Somebody is mucking around with the golden rule of television - who in their right mind would think of putting The Great Escape on when it isn’t a bank holiday? Madness! Still, I’m a sucker for this old classic, so bring it on.

George Gently (Sunday 8pm, BBC1)

When a German businessman’s body is dragged out of the harbour, it brings Inspector George Gently and sidekick DS Bacchus running. Foul deeds have been committed and it’s up to our vintage coppers to sort out the mess. This a nice little show, and Martin Shaw has that reliable air about him - the same feeling of familiarity that we get from John Nettles in Midsomer Murders. It makes for comfortable viewing, and there are some twists and turns along the way to keep things ticking over.

Midsomer Murders (Sunday 8pm, ITV1)

You know exactly what you’re going to get with Midsomer Murders, week in, week out, so talking about the actual plot mechanics of an individual episode is largely irrelevant. It’s what keeps us coming back in our millions, so why mess with a tried and tested and formula? In tonight’s sleepy investigation, Barnaby and Jones investigate a murder that could have links to Jones’s past. Gasp!

Dexter (Sunday 10pm, FX)

Business as usual for the mild-mannered serial killer. Tonight’s episode is notable for British audiences as they might just recognise new character Lila - it’s Jaime Murray, formerly of Hustle, who Dexter encounters at Narcotics Anonymous.

Return to… Airport (Monday 7.30pm, BBC2)

Like last week’s retrospective on Vets in Practice, this exercise in nostalgia continues apace throughout the week and revisits the ratings busting mammoth of the fly on the wall genre that was Airport. This fly on the wall series was a huge success at the time, and is arguably responsible for the phenomenon of the reality TV star. Everybody remembers Jeremy Spake, a supervisor working for Aeroflot who launched himself, thanks to Airport, into a reasonably successful TV career. This side effect aside, Airport was inexplicably compelling and this is an enjoyable look back at a slice of TV history.

New Tricks (Monday 9pm, BBC1)

An interesting episode of this hugely enjoyable drama, penned as it is by actor Chris Coghill, best known for his roles in Shameless, amongst others. It guest-stars Dexter Fletcher in a tale that sees the death of an actor being looked into when the thesp’s daughter releases a biography of her father that suggests his death may not have been from natural causes… As always, it’s slightly off the wall with some lovely bits of comedy in amongst the drama.

Liz Smith Night (Monday from 9pm, BBC4)

Oh how joyous, a strand of programming devoted to everybody’s favourite pensioner, indefatigable Liz Smith, better known as The Royle Family’s Nana. The evening kicks off with the last visit to The Royle Family, The Queen of Sheba, in which Smith delivers a heartbreaking final performance as Nana. There are also showings of other Smith turns, including Mike Leigh’s 1973 Play For Today, Hard Labour. The centrepiece of the evening is Mark Lawson Talks to Liz Smith, in which the always charming and self-effacing actress talks in detail about a life that started in near poverty and took her to being a national treasure.

Bonekickers (Tuesday 9pm, BBC1)

My new favourite thing continues in fine, over-cooked form as our team of dialogue-chewing archaeologists uncover human remains in the mud of the Bristol Channel. Could there be links back to Bristol’s place in the slave trade of the 18th century? What a shame they couldn’t uncover a better draft of the script in the mud. It’s all fun in a way it clearly wasn’t meant to be, and it’s almost heartbreaking to watch Julie Graham, a fine, fine actress, wrestle further with the character of Dr Gillian Magwilde, a role she should never have been cast in. Considering it’s from the minds behind Life on Mars and Ashes to Ashes, you desperately hope Gene Hunt is going to arrive and arrest them all.

Jimmy Doherty’s Farming Heroes (Tuesday 9pm, BBC2)

I am getting a little bored of food shows that see a chef of choice setting off around the country to ooh and aah over great food - Rick Stein has been doing it well enough for so many years, do we really need more? Still, as Marco Pierre White galumphs around the country looking for the best of British food, Jimmy Doherty off of Jimmy’s Farm takes a different tack here and turns his attention to farming. And it works - as issues of food wastage and supply become our nation’s preoccupation, this is an eye opening foray into a world that few of us see when we look at the chicken on our plate. And Doherty is a genial guide, being as passionate about produce as supply and the farmers he encounters on his trip.

Private Practice (Tuesday 10pm, Living)

The Grey’s Anatomy spin-off receives its UK premiere on Living, and sees Kate Walsh take the character of Dr Addison Montgomery to a private surgery in Santa Monica. This doesn’t have the bite of Grey’s, but Walsh is a likeable enough actress to make the change in tone work, although the overt leaning towards light, dippy humour could become wearing as the series progresses.

Celebrity Masterchef (Wednesday 8pm, BBC1)

It’s semi-final time for the Celebrity Masterchef hopefuls, and now the pressure is on - as Gregg would have it, this competition JUST, GETS. TOUGHER!!!!!. And with having to cook for 600 beefy construction workers en masse, Gregg, for once, might not be letting hyperbole get the better of him.

The Thirties in Colour (Wednesday 9pm, BBC4)

Fascinating opener of a four part documentary series that examines the changes in photographic techniques that exploded in the 1930s to allow film to be shot in colour for the very first time. This first instalment focuses on the sequences shot by the socialite Rosie Newman, who caught the very young princesses Elizabeth and Margaret playing together in their back garden - Newman was the future King’s next door neighbour at the time!

Harley Street (Thursday 9pm, ITV1)

ITV is still seeking a saviour in the drama stakes, following plucky entries from the likes of He Kills Coppers and The Fixer. Unfortunately for the share price, Harley Street is not going to be it, making The Palace look as if it was written by Marcel Proust. Paul Nicholls is Dr Robert Fielding, a good medic with a big heart, NHS lackey by night, swish Harley Street doc by day. Considering the hours he keeps, it’s amazing Fielding has the time to squeeze in as much sex as he does, let alone the energy - but he does. And that’s the thing with Harley Street, it’s all white coat and no knickers - and as we know from Hotel Babylon, that can work. Harley Street doesn’t because most of the characters are so unlikable that it is rendered bereft of charm. And like Julie Graham in Bonekickers, the usually likeable Suranne Jones is so miscast as Fielding’s plum-in-gob oppo in the Harley Street practice, it hurts. But with torturous dialogue like: “Can we make this quick, I have half an embassy to inoculate this morning.”, Harley Street might just find a place in my affections for some undemanding, slightly laughable fare for a Thursday night.

The Unseen Alistair Cook (Thursday 9pm, BBC4)

An enjoyable profile of the legendary broadcaster whose Letter From America kept us enthralled for decades.

Superstars (Friday 8pm, Five)

Aw, bless Five, they do try don’t they? And I’m glad they do as tonight a TV classic returns in the form of Superstars, resurrected by Auntie Beeb a couple of years back to a lacklustre response. To be honest, I stick around for the theme tune (which is a beauty), but the mechanics of the contest as famous sports personalities compete (this time in teams) is always a bit dull. Still, we’ve got Jim Rosenthal chewing up the scenery on hosting duties, which is always worthwhile.

EastEnders (Friday 7.30pm, BBC1)

It’s all very been tense in EastEnders this week as the Mitchells have all been off on a little jolly so the Enders’ production team can double-bank a couple of episodes. The best thing about this week has been the introduction of Archie Mitchell, as played by the brilliant Larry Lamb. He’s a nasty piece of work, and let’s hope his appearance in this sequence of away day episodes will be extended.

Celebrity Masterchef (Friday 8.30pm, BBC1)

The second quarterfinal and my money is on Wendi Peters. Go Cilla!

Would I Lie to You? (Friday 9pm, BBC1)

A reasonably entertaining panel game in which Angus Deayton chairs two teams, captained by David Mitchell and Lee Mack, who tell each other tall tales with the aim being to guess what’s true and what isn’t. Very similar to Radio 4’s The Unbelievable Truth (which Mitchell chairs), this could be pretty low rent fare, but Mitchell, Mack and Deayton are all pretty sharp in the laugh stakes, and with guests like Rob Brydon, it’s not going to be a dull affair.

Dad’s Army (Saturday 7pm, BBC2)

While every episode of Dad’s Army is always a winner (no, really they are), and always worth recommending, I’m flagging this repeat showing up to highlight Ian Lavender’s comments earlier this week on the state of British television. In Dad’s Army’s 40th anniversary year, he might actually have a point.

Carry on Night (Saturday, from 7.30pm, BBC2)

Looking around the schedules for tonight, this evening of programming to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the Carry On films is a lifeline to avoid the Saturday night tedium. It’s a bit of a cheat though, as there’s nothing here that’s been produced specially, comprising a showing of Carry on Camping (always a pleasure, never a chore) and another outing for BBC4’s Kenneth Williams biopic, Fantabulosa! Best of all is a dusting down of Cor, Blimey!, previously shown on ITV a good few years ago. This is Terry Johnson’s comedy drama that focuses on the relationship between Sid James and Barbara Windsor, and is beautifully done. Geoffrey Hutchings makes a great Sid James, but Samantha Spiro as Babs is just magnificent. Highly recommended.

Foyle’s War (Saturday 9pm, ITV1)

Much as I like Foyle’s War, if a repeat from an earlier series is the best ITV can do on a Saturday night, summer or not, then things really are desperate, aren’t they?

Doctor Who (Sunday 5.35pm, BBC1)

Hang on a minute, weren’t we here last week? If you failed to catch the season finale of Doctor Who, then both The Stolen Earth and Journey’s End are shown here back to back.

George Gently (Sunday 8pm, BBC1)

We previewed this episode in last week’s Square Eyes, but it failed to materialise due to the overrunning of the Wimbledon final on BBC1. It’s good, gentle Sunday night fare with Martin Shaw and Lee Ingleby making a likeable crime-solving partnership.

Midsomer Murders (Sunday 8pm, ITV1)

Upstairs, Downstairs star Simon Williams guests in tonight’s Midsomer Murders as an outspoken magazine owner who might just have got up the noses of a few locals in the village of Midsomer Sonning (just how many of these villages are there?). Of course, it’s not long before bodies are turning up left, right and centre. But is Guy Sandys (Williams) murderer or potential victim? Barnaby and Jones are on the case!

Dexter (Sunday 10pm, FX)

Crime dramas come in all shapes and sizes, and Dexter provides a neat counterpoint to the gentle, sleepy crime outings on our terrestrial channels this evening. It never ceases to amaze me how, week in, week out, the scriptwriters manage to sell this show. And now that Dexter himself has become the hunted, rather than the hunter, things have become even tenser. Yet, despite the subject matter and edgy visuals, there remains something utterly lovable at the heart of the show, and that comes from Michael C Hall’s appealing and charismatic performance in the lead. More please!

Return to… Vets in Practice (Monday 7.30pm, BBC2)

Do you remember the bizarrely popular Vets School *and the subsequent *Vets in Practice? It was a hugely popular fly on the wall series that introduced us to a group of young vets, including Trude Mostue, Steve Leonard and the smitten lovebirds Joe Inglis and Emma Milne. We were suckers in our millions for their adventures in the vet trade, and Trude even forged a fledgling TV career on the back of it. This five-part series revisits them in the here and now. I’m not sure we need it, but ViP was a huge show, so should be of passing interest to some.

New Tricks (Monday 9pm, BBC1)

A very welcome return for one of the Beeb’s most popular dramas. Amanda Redman, Denis Waterman, Alun Armstrong and James Bolan are back as the lovable veteran coppers in a tale that sees Jack (Bolam) face Ricky Hansen, who is standing trial for the old fella’s attempted murder. There are the usual side plots and sweet character moments propping things up in jolly fashion, and I for one am glad to see this hugely enjoyable show back in the schedules.

Roman Mysteries (Tuesday 4.35pm, BBC1)

Thank god the BBC is still investing in quality, well-made children’s drama (just about). Roman Mysteries is a good, solid adventure series, based on the successful novels by Caroline Lawrence about a gang of children erm… investigating mysteries in ancient Rome. Et voila! Roman Mysteries. The first series was really rather jolly and in the first adventure of this second run a group of gladiators arrive in Ostia…

Bonekickers (Tuesday 9pm, BBC1)

While Hugh Bonneville looks vaguely embarrassed by the whole enterprise, and Adrian Lester bravely rallies like a pro in the face of adversity, Julie Graham goes for the full on scenery chewing in this highly implausible load of old cack. Bonekickers is a po-faced adventure drama about a group of archaeologists, led by Graham’s feisty Gillian, that possesses no sense of irony AT ALL. Ridiculous dialogue and improbable situations are thrown around with gay abandon and it’s impossible to take any of this seriously. And the biggest surprise? Bonekickers is from the pen of Matthew Graham and Ashley Pharoah, the genius brains behind Life on Mars. Sorry guys, but we really do expect better from you than this half-baked nonsense.

The Culture Show (Tuesday 10pm, BBC2)

David Simon, creator of cult HBO drama The Wire, pops in for a chat about the success of the show.

Celebrity Masterchef (Wednesday 8pm, BBC1)

Six more celebrities throw their chefs hat in the ring for a chance to be crowned Celebrity Masterchef 2008. Tonight, Denise Lewis, Linda Robson and Mark Monaghan, followed by Michael Buerk, Liz McClarnon and Julia Bradbury are all cooking up a storm. I just hope John and Gregg gird their loins to be a bit more unpleasant to the cooks when they serve up something dreadful. Just one disparaging comment would be okay!

Drama Trails (Wednesday 9pm, ITV3)

This week the labyrinthine connections that link The Jewel in the Crown and Band of Gold are examined in this enjoyable yet slight piece of fluff narrated by James (he’ll never be Doctor Who on my watch) Nesbitt.

A Very Peculiar Practice (Wednesday 9pm, Sky Arts)

A welcome chance to see one of Peter Davison’s finest roles, as he plays idealistic young GP Stephen Daker who pitches up to a new job at a university campus medical centre. This is the finest work to come from the pen of Andrew Davies, and it makes you weep for all those bonnets and corsets. Criminally overlooked.

EastEnders (Thursday 7.30pm, BBC1)

A significant episode of ‘Enders that introduces Gavin and Stacey/Triangle legend Larry Lamb as a major new character who is likely to have far-reaching consequences for at least two characters. Great casting too!

Mock the Week (Thursday 9pm, BBC2)

The always enjoyable, occasionally laugh out loud funny satirical panel show returns under the watchful eye Dara O’Briain. The usual teams are joined by Lucy Porter and Michael McIntyre.

Lab Rats (Thursday 9.30pm, BBC2)

Lab Rats is a genially traditional sitcom from the pen of Chris Addison and Carl Cooper. It’s about the hapless staff of a research lab at a university and is largely inoffensive, but that’s about it. The comedy isn’t razor sharp, but Addison, a graduate of some great Radio 4 comedy and of course, The Thick of It, has a nice line in startled charm, and it could have been a lot worse. And fair play to somebody having a bash at a traditional studio-bound sit-com outside The IT Crowd.

Still Game (Thursday 10pm, BBC2)

Joy! A rerun of the last series of Square Eyes favourite Still Game. Still Game? Still funny!

Coronation Street (Friday 7.30pm, ITV1)

There’s a definite sense that Corrie is treading water at the moment. It’s probably down to the summer malaise that hits TV, but there’s no sense of momentum or building storylines. The most interesting to do down the cobbles at the moment is Tony’s sabre rattling in the direction of stretching his property empire across the Street, with Kevin Webster likely to be caught in the crossfire. On the whole, a bit meh, but as always with Corrie, brilliance is never far away.

Celebrity Masterchef (Friday 8.30pm, BBC1)

The biggest shock from this week’s return of the best show on television, like ever, was that Sean Wilson, formerly Coronation Street’s Martin Platt, is a renowned actor. I would imagine that’s down his local. The problem with Celebrity Masterchef is that John and Gregg just aren’t as rude to the celebs as they are to Joe Public, which is one of the delights of the format. Still, it’s as entertaining as ever and tonight is the first quarter final where it’s likely Andi Peters will cry, Claire off of Steps will smile a lot (I like her), Louis Emerick (he was in Brookie you know) will let us know how competitive he is and…. And forgive me, but I’ve lost interest in the fella who was apparently in The Bill. Great entertainment as always.

Criminal Justice (Friday 9pm, BBC1)

This final episode of Peter Moffat’s gripping drama is likely to be as tense as a bowl of pasta put in front of John Torode. We’re approaching the end of the trial as Ben awaits his fate, but will his barrister be able to uncover some new and vital evidence that will change the direction of the trial? A brilliant piece of work, but as Scott pointed out earlier this week, why did it have to come and go like a summer cloud across one week of the schedules?

Doctor Who (Saturday 6.40pm, BBC1)

Oh thank God for that. This clapped out load of sci-fi nonsense finally limps to the end of the series. Frankly I couldn’t care less, I don’t know what people see in this rubbish, it never ceases to amaze me how… Ah, who am I kidding? I’ve been a gibbering wreck all week waiting to find out if we’re about to get a new Doctor, just what has happened to Rose’s teeth and just where on Earth is K9. This is going to be a nail biting 65 minutes, so take the phone off the hook, pour the pinot and crack open the crisps. It’s the TV event of the year.

Last Choir Standing (Saturday 7.45pm, BBC1)

A new spin on the talent show format of recent years as Myleene Klaas and Nick Knowles lead the search for Britain’s best choir. This has the potential to be very good indeed and the talent on display - there’s every kind of choir that you can think of here - is likely to be a cut above what we’ve been used to in the past. The judges are Russell Watson, Suzi Digby and Holby City’s Sharon D Clarke. Read our First Look preview.

The NHS: a Difficult Beginning (Saturday 8.30pm, BBC2)

On the 60th anniversary of the start of the NHS, this documentary is well worth looking at, chronicling the Herculean task of health minister Nye Bevan in revolutionising the way we receive medical treatment in the UK.

George Gently (Sunday 8pm, BBC1)

Martin Shaw provides an oasis of pleasure in the desert-like schedules as he returns as Northumberland detective George Gently following last year’s enjoyable pilot. It’s 1964, and Gently and sidekick DS Bacchus (Lee Ingleby, brilliant as ever) investigate a murder that draws them into a plot involving gunrunning and the IRA. It’s gentle (geddit) in that sleepy Foyle’s War kind of way (Shaw has the look of Michael Kitchen in this), but no less enjoyable for it.

Midsomer Murders (Sunday 8pm, ITV1)

As a relatively new kid on the crime block gets down to business on BBC1, a venerable old prizefighter is still going strong on ITV with the return of Inspector Barnaby for four new investigations in Midsomer Murders. Cully Barnaby is getting hitched, but as ever in the life a village policeman, dad Tom is soon called away when the maid of honour at another wedding is stabbed to death.

Dexter (Sunday 10pm, FX)

The Square Eyes Sunday crime theme continues with the second season of Dexter on FX. Serial-killer good guy Dexter is having difficulty offing bad guys at the beginning of this new series as he’s been tailed by his increasingly suspicious colleague Doakes. It’s brilliantly done, with Michael C Hall carrying off the trick of playing a murdering psychopath who is utterly likeable and charming. Great stuff.

Criminal Justice (Monday - Friday 9pm, BBC1)

Bill Patterson and Ben Whishaw star in this thoroughly compelling and highly watchable drama stripped nightly across the week, a device the BBC appears to be increasingly fond of. Whishaw is Ben Coulter, a young lad who sets off on a night out, only for it to end in tragedy when he commits a terrible crime - apparently. Apparently, because Ben can’t remember a damn thing about what happened. What unfolds is a depiction of the legal system from the inside out as Ben is put through the wringer from all angles. British TV drama at its best.

Coupling (Monday 11.10pm, Paramount Comedy)

Going slightly off piste and back in time for Square Eyes, this is a chance to see the very first episode of Steven Moffat’s Coupling. Aside from the fact that there isn’t great deal on worth watching tonight (save for Criminal Justice), this is a good opportunity to see some of Moffat’s earlier work as he prepares to take over the running of the good ship Doctor Who next year. It’s frothy and fun with some blistering one-liners, but there are no gasmasks in sight.

Emmerdale: Blood Ties (Tuesday 7pm, ITV1)

Not that I’m going out of my way to recommend the life of everyday of posh country folk, I just find it amusing that these hour long editions have odd subtitles beyond the simple Emmerdale moniker. Blood Ties! It all sounds very dramatic and scary, as if Lynda La Plante had suddenly taken up writing for the rural soap. Now that I would like to see, but sadly not as this turns out to be just another bog standard soap episode. What next? Emmerdale: Mucking Out?

Duncan Bannatyne Takes on Big Tobacco (Tuesday 9pm, BBC2)

There’s something incredibly likeable about Dragon’s Den’s Duncan Bannatyne. He might be filthy rich, but he’s clearly worked for it and is a massive benefactor to charities and other deserving causes around the UK. In this documentary he takes on almost hero status for me as he heads off to Africa to investigate the tobacco industry and why more young people are taking up the habit there. He discovers some shocking practices from the big tobacco peddling companies and this documentary stands as an insightful and revealing piece of work.

The Culture Show (Tuesday 10pm, BBC2)

On the 60th anniversary of the publication of George Orwell’s 1984, Germaine Greer, a reluctant graduate of the Celebrity Big Brother house, gathers together a group of ex-Big Brother contestants to discuss the merits of the great novel. Now I don’t know about you, but I think there’s something strangely perverse about that - kind of like eating a Pot Noodle at The Ivy.

Celebrity Masterchef (Wednesday 8pm, BBC1)

Saints be praised! There’s something decent to watch for the next couple of weeks and it just turns out to be the return of the celebrity-tinged version of Square Eyes favourite Masterchef. G’day John, wotcha Gregg, we’ve missed you guys! Of course, Celebrity Masterchef is not about somebody bagging themselves a career as a chef (although Claire off of Steps could probably do with the work), but will any of them be good enough to impress John and Gregg. Have I mentioned I ADORE this show?

Marco’s Great British Feast (Wednesday 9pm, ITV1)

As John and Gregg taste their way through the celeb-cooked food on BBC1, he enfant terrible of the food world, Marco Pierre White, gets an outing in a new show on ITV1. The roots of this hybrid format are clear if you look for them - White travels around the country looking for the best produce and ingredients for a totally British menu. It’s nothing new or startling, but White does provide a dangerously different presence to the usual TV chefs that populate the box.

Drama Trails (Wednesday 9pm, ITV3)

Clearly riffing on the BBC’s …Connections strand, Drama Trails has James Nesbitt narrating this fun little series that connects popular dramas to other shows, starting here with Coronation Street. To a TV trivia daftie like me this is manna from heaven.

Heroes (Thursday 9pm, BBC2)

Blah blah… season finale blah blah… shanti virus blah blah… Petrelli brothers reunited blah blah… Hiro out for revenge blah blah… not as good as the first season blah blah… will season three be better than this meandering nonsense? Blah blah… I really hope so…

The Graham Norton Show (Thursday 9.45pm, BBC2)

To ease the pain of the agonising wait until the final episode of Doctor Who on Saturday, Donna Noble herself, aka Catherine Tate, pops in for a chat with Graham. Expect lots of laughs and fun along the way.

Fallout (Thursday 10pm, C4)

Once again Channel 4 shows its mastery of the one-off drama in this stunning adaptation by Roy Williams of his stage play that delves into the increasingly worrying issue of teen violence on the streets of Britain. The effortlessly brilliant Lennie James plays Joe, a copper drafted in to help investigate the murder of a teenager on the estate where he grew up. It’s a thoughtful, intelligent piece that plays on how the stabbing of the teenager impales across the lives of those who live on the estate and how Joe’s eyes are opened up to some harsh realities.

Glastonbury (various times, Friday-Sunday, BBC3/BBC2)

If you fancy a lazy weekend hanging around the house, then at some point you’re going to come across the Beeb’s Glastonbury coverage. It’s always well done, and a great way to see some of the acts while having access to a clean loo that doesn’t involve traipsing through miles of mud. Lauren Laverne, Edith Bowman, Mark Radcliffe and Zane Lowe are your presenters.

Coronation Street (Friday 7.30/8.30pm, ITV1)

I’m not quite sure why Steve McDonald went off and slept with Becky Granger. Steve’s relationship with Michelle Connor was a perfectly lovely soap coupling, but those pesky storyliners just can’t stop monkeying with things, can they? Michelle is on the warpath, accusing Leanne of being Steve’s illicit lover, but Lloyd spins an elaborate tale to help get Steve off the hook. It will all end in tears, mark my words!

Deadliest Catch (Friday 8pm, C4)

Well naturally, it’s one of the best shows on the box, so where else are you going to be? On the crab!

To The Manor Born (Friday 9pm, BBC1)

A very welcome re-run for the lovely Christmas revival of the BBC sitcom classic. A great antidote to the utter rubbish over on Channel 4.

Doctor Who (Saturday 7.10pm, BBC1)

After the last few weeks of more adult, psychologically taut tales, Doctor Who returns firmly to the high-octane, epic adventure we’ve come to expect from previous finales. The Stolen Earth is an audacious yarn from the pen of Russell T Davies - it’s like one of those cracking Marvel Comic team-ups that have Spider-Man, the X-Men and The Avengers all turning up in the same comic. Here we have Captain Jack and the Torchwood team, Sarah Jane Smith and her son Luke off of The Sarah Jane Adventures, and Dr Martha Jones, all present and correct for the final battle with the Dalek Empire - and this time, they’ve brought a friend. Fantastic, huge, silly entertainment of the highest order.

Who Dares Sings! (Saturday 8pm, ITV1)

An odd concept for a show as Denise Van Outen and Ben Shephard challenge 100 members of a studio audience to take on the talents of Sam, a super computer with a penchant for karaoke. Bless. I don’t quite know what the point of this is, but with a £50,000 cash prize up for grabs, maybe there doesn’t have to be a point. It certainly never stops ITV.

How TV Changed Britain (Saturday 8pm, C4)

A move to Saturday night for this interesting little show that trawls through the archives of television past and asks how certain things were influenced within society. Terry Christian and Magenta DeVine are amongst the talking heads peppered throughout the clips this evening, so it isn’t hard to work out that this edition is covering how television catered for a younger audience over the years. Network 7, The Word and beyond all get a look in - beware, this could really make you feel your age.

Law and Order (Saturday 10.50pm, Five)

A landmark episode of Law and Order that sees Jerry Orbach’s final appearance as Detective Lenny Briscoe after 12 seasons.

Top Gear (Sunday 8pm, BBC2)

Spooks actors Rupert Penry-Jones and Peter Firth are tonight’s stars in a reasonably priced car, Richard Hammond jumps in a swish Audi t challenge some French skiers, and no doubt James May will no doubt turn up looking like he’s just got out of bed. Brush your hair and stop dressing like a student from the late 80s!

The Royal (Sunday 8pm, BBC1)

It seems that tonight The Royal is the one drama that isn’t a repeat, which almost makes it worth watching. Almost. There’s no point in talking about the story on offer as by and large this show is the same week in, week in. It still looks lovely though, and the soundtrack is always a pleasure. And it least it’s brand new and doesn’t involve football or housemates - something of a rarity in tonight’s schedules.

Coronation Street (7.30pm, ITV1)

The comedy continues apace in the house swap of the year as the Peacocks finally settle in on the other side of the Street. While rummaging around in the loft, Claire makes a discovery that might just change her family’s life forever. Have Stan and Hilda left a legacy that will put Claire and Ashley on the gravy train? Elsewhere, Tony, with his bulging eyes, puts his foot down at the factory.

EastEnders (Monday 8pm, BBC1)

After last week’s explosive events down the East End, Albert Square is at home to yet more shocks this evening as a familiar face turns up in Walford. It would be churlish to reveal who this rascal is, but put it this way, there’s one local lady who will not be pleased to see them. Will anybody else be happy? Watch it and find out…

Justin Lee Collins: 180 (Monday, 10pm, Sky One)

There’s something undeniably watchable about Justin Lee Collins, and in this fun little piece he turns his hand to conquering the world of competitive darts. I’m always bang on for a bit of arrows action, and complete with Collins’s irreverent (if shouty) charms, this is nicely entertaining in a down at heel kind of way. Look on the bright side - it isn’t Big Brother, and for that we can all be thankful.

Holby City (Tuesday 8pm, BBC1)

Back where it belongs on a Tuesday evening, Holby City goes international in tonight’s instalment as Joseph and relative newcomer Linden head off to Cape Town to rescue Faye from whatever scrape she’s got herself into. But just what secret is Linden hiding as he starts the episode sitting in a confessional and clearly wanting to get something off his chest? Elsewhere, is Connie still as fabulous as ever? Of course she is!

The Supersizers Go… Regency (Tuesday 9pm, BBC2)

My favourite TV pleasure of the minute comes to an end this week as Giles Coren takes on the dietary regime of a Regency dandy, along with Sue Perkins who dons the frock of a Jane Austen heroine. Brilliant as always, these shows reveal as much about history as they do the food. The week moves along with the usual face stuffing and booze quenching, culminating in a lavish ball. I for one hope the Supersizers will return before too long.

Tribal Wives (Wednesday 9pm, BBC2)

The proof is in the pudding this week to assess whether Tribal Wives is going to be a one trick pony or has the legs for six episodes. Last week we saw Sass find a little bit of happiness in an unfulfilled life; this week it’s the turn of hardworking single mum Karen. Will spending a month with an Ecuadorian tribe show her there’s more to life? Probably. I’m hoping one week we’ll see somebody come back from the experience even more depressed than they went in.

Snowdon and Margaret: Inside a Royal Marriage (Wednesday 9pm, C4)

A revealing and insightful documentary that lifts the lid on one of the most tempestuous royal couplings of modern times, which ended amidst much tabloid scuttlebutt in 1978. Princess Margaret and Lord Snowdon were married for 18-year years, and Snowdon has always come out the better of the two in subsequent examinations of their marriage. This documentary seeks to redress some of the balance…

EastEnders (Thursday 7.30pm, BBC1)

Assuming the footie doesn’t muck things up, Dot tries to get Bradley and Stacey back together tonight. Dot, love, if you keep flogging a dead horse, one day it might win the Grand National. Until then, why don’t you go and sit down and have a ciggie?

Heroes (Thursday 9pm, BBC2)

It’s the penultimate episode of a shortened season of Heroes, and we finally start to see what’s been going on. It’s summat about a virus, a virus that could destroy everything if it mutated or… do stop me if I’m boring you… I do find it very hard to summon up interest in what is undeniably a very well made, imaginative TV drama. I can see the charm of Heroes and why it’s good - I just don’t feel it.

Coronation Street (Friday 7.30pm, ITV1)

You know you’re in trouble when the best thing about Coronation Street is a comedy storyline concerning a house swap between the Websters and the Peacocks - with hilarious results… It’s the day of the move as Sally prepares to ascend to t’other side of the Street, but when their funds don’t clear, Claire refuses to budge. Both clans sit tight, facing each other across the legendary cobbles with their worldly possessions laid bare for all to see. It’s good fun in the way that only Corrie can be, and something tells us that this story won’t end well.

Deadliest Catch (Friday 8pm, C4)

Deadliest Catch is one of the most addictive shows on television right now, and here at TV Today we love the death defying feats performed by the crab fishermen out in the Bering Sea. It’s the same week in, week out, but remains utterly compelling. Tonight, the opelia season opens and Captain Sig is on the crab straight away, but Captain Phil is being a little more cautious as the temperature drops.

Alexei Sayle’s Liverpool (Friday 9pm, BBC2)

The final part of this wonderful portrait of Liverpool by the engaging yet caustic Alexei Sayle. Tonight’s closing chapter brings things down to a personal level as he seeks out his mum Molly for a chat and considers his own identity as a scouser. Alexei Sayle’s Liverpool has been a refreshing oasis in the desert of the current TV schedules.

Doctor Who (Saturday 6.40pm, BBC1)

Catherine Tate shines as Donna in this episode that asks, with sinister effect, what would happen if Donna had not met the Doctor by simply turning left instead of right. It’s a breathtaking piece of work that revisits where Doctor Who has been over the last few years and repaints familiar events from a different perspective. Not only is Tate superb, Turn Left also features the return of Billie Piper to the role of Rose Tyler and sets things up nicely for what we are promised will be a storming season finale.

Andrew Marr’s History of Modern Britain (Saturday 8pm, BBC2)

It’s a repeat, but that doesn’t make Andrew Marr’s appraisal of our country’s modern history any less watchable or fascinating. This final part covers the post Thatcher years in Britain and assesses the fortunes (or otherwise) of Messrs Major and Blair during their time at Number 10. Considering the events currently taking place around the world, this feels chillingly relevant.

Joyce Grenfell - Comedy with Breeding (Saturday 11.15pm, BBC2)

A criminally late slot for this profile of the comedy legend, previously shown on BBC4.

Last of the Summer Wine (Sunday 6.35pm, BBC1)

There’s something comforting about reading in the schedules that there’s a new series of Last of the Summer Wine. This show is not made for me (although I loved it as a nipper), but the fact it’s still there, still chugging away, gives me a little warm glow and tells me that all is well with the world. It’s rare that a modern TV show gets by simply on the virtue of simply being lovely, and that’s something we should cherish, don’t you think?

Top Gear (Sunday 8pm, BBC2)

The three motoring musketeers are back for a new run of the ratings busting Top Gear. I love and loathe this show in equal measure. It’s undeniably entertaining and Clarkson, Hammond and May have great rapport. However, it has an appalling approach to environmental issues, and that makes me increasingly uncomfortable.

The Royal (Sunday 8pm, ITV1)

Unless the footie cocks things up, The Royal returns for a new 10 part series in all its cosy glory. Again, like Last of the Summer Wine, this might not appeal to my particular demographic, but I know people who are happier because this gentle drama exists (hello Mum!), and that’s good enough for me.

How TV Changed Britain (Sunday 8pm, C4)

As the property market is giving a lot of people cause for worry, this edition of the frothy TV retrospective series is a timely look at how property and home improvement shows have occupied the TV landscape over the years. Thanks to the likes of Sarah Beeny and Phil and Kirstie, we are a nation obsessed - have shows such as Property Ladder contributed to the current uncertainty? It’s a sobering thought…

A Taste of My Life (Monday6.30pm, BBC2)

There’s something comfortingly lovely about A Taste of My Life, with Nigel Slater’s gentle meandering through the life of a different personality each day using the evocative power of food and eating as its touchstone. Tonight, veteran actress Liz Smith is sitting in Nigel’s kitchen. Always a pleasure, albeit an undemanding one.

Mary, Queen of Shops (Monday 9pm, BBC2)

One of the better of the buck-your-ideas-up reality shows sees Mary Portas walk into failing clothes shops/boutiques and very sternly point out what the proprietor’s are doing wrong - which is usually everything. Tonight’s task seems to be a particularly tough one as Mary gets shouted down by the manager’s husband (who just happens to be the shop’s owner) at every turn. A frustratingly entertaining watch.

Dickens’s Secret Lover (Monday 9pm, C4)

Charles Dance introduces this docu-drama that attempts to set aside the gruffly avuncular image of Charles Dickens as presented for many years. Family man Dickens, a popular figure of British respectability to this day, went to great lengths to keep his affair with Nelly Ternan, an actress 27 years his junior, a secret, and this biographical piece attempts to lift the lid on the scandal that bubbled beneath the author’s literary veneer. The excellent David Haigh stars as Dickens.

The Supersizers Go… Elizabethan (Tuesday 9pm, BBC2)

More entertaining culinary adventures in the company of Giles Coren and Sue Perkins who this week jump in their gastronomic TARDIS to soak up some Elizabethan cuisine. It’s perhaps the most arduous task the Supersizers have taken on yet and you’ll need a strong stomach just to watch Coren and Perkins dive into some of the feasts on offer. Sheep’s head with offal, anybody?

Battlestar Galactica (Tuesday 9pm, Sky One)

Oooh, it’s all getting tense on board the Galactica as the fourth season gets to the mid-season break so we can all catch our breath - will we find out who the last Cylon is, where Earth is and whether Adama will ever crack a smile again? It’s fast, it’s furious, it’s Battlestar Galactica!

Neighbours (Wednesday 1.45pm Five)

Awwww, it’s time to say goodbye to a Ramsay Street legend (again) as Harold Bishop (the always loveable Ian Smith) turns his back on Erinsborough. It’s enough to bring a tear to the eye of the most-hardened Neighbours devotees, but fear not, the old fella may, we hear, be popping back from time to time. One thing’s for sure, Ramsay Street will be a quieter place from now on.

EastEnders (Wednesday 8pm, BBC1)

A double helping of EastEnders action tonight that crams a bit of everything in there. Mad May is back for Summer and she isn’t leaving Albert Square without taking her from Dawn’s arms. There’s some quite tense stuff in here, with both Amanda Drew (May) and Kara Tointon (Dawn) on good form as the loony GP locks them in the house. Elsewhere the Albert Square Best of British day is underway, and there’s a real sense of community that’s been missing from the soap for some time. In the past, ‘Enders would have attempted to give the Dawn/May face-off the self-contained two-hander treatment, but the other events in Albert Square help to texture things nicely and move things forward.

Holby City (Wednesday 9pm, BBC1)

Gordon Ramsay? In Holby City? You are having an F Word laugh!

River Cottage Spring (Wednesday 9pm, C4)

I like Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall. He’s like a cross between a batty Oxford professor and Hugh Grant, all packaged up in a gangly, earthy frame. I hear women go weak at the knees as he talks with passion about podding peas, and why wouldn’t they when he enthuses with this much passion about the work of River Cottage? In tonight’s final episode, Spring is on the cusp of Summer and the gang are working flat out to make elderflower champagne and spit roast the pigs for the Spring fair.

Britain’s Lost World (Thursday 9pm, BBC1)

A nicely revealing natural history documentary that sees buff historian Dan Snow, naturalist Steve Backshall and breathlessly enthusiastic Kate Humble head for the remote British World Heritage site of St Kilda. St Kilda is a jagged wasteland, home to thousands and upon thousands of birds, from puffins to gannets - and until 80 years ago was home to a small population before the island was abandoned in the face of failing crops. It’s nicely done with some beautiful photography and some genuinely interesting insights into what life must have been like for the islanders who performed death defying feats every day just to catch their dinner on a sheer cliff face.

Heroes (Thursday 9pm, BBC2)

Hiro finally returns from the past to discover his father his dead, and immediately jumps back into the past to prevent his murder. What else will he discover there? Mohinder is still droning on (does he ever shut up?), Matt’s mental abilities are still growing and Claire is kidnapped. Finally this season is starting to pick up, just as it’s about to finish. Ah well, better luck next time guys!

Great British Menu Banquet (Friday 6pm, BBC2)

The final final of this year’s Great British Menu as the winners assemble at the Gherkin in London to cook the selected dishes for some of the finest names in the culinary world.

Alexei Sayle’s Liverpool (Friday 9pm, BBC2)

A welcome haven in a sea of televisual tedium this evening as Big Brother and the football conspire to destroy any joy in the TV schedules. And remember, it’s even worse now Peep Show and Derren Brown have gone. But this is a great piece of TV, building on last week’s brilliant opener. Tonight the comic actor looks at Liverpool’s often-uncomfortable identity as a city of culture, and how that sits with the industrial and commercial face of the city. Fascinating.

8 out of 10 Cats (Friday 10pm, C4)

Sitting between the two helpings of Big Brother is the new series of 8 out of 10 Cats, with Jimmy Carr returning to quiz two teams of comedians on statistical facts and figures in the news. Team captains Sean Lock and Jason Manford also return, but I do wonder what the point is - it was only ever worth tuning in for Dave Spikey as a team captain, and without him the show does limp along a bit. Still, Carr can still fire them off the cuff, and Sean Lock is usually entertaining. It all just makes me feel a bit meh.

Sex, Telly and Britain (Saturday 10.30am, Radio4)

As the TV schedules are a veritable wasteland this weekend, Square Eyes takes a rare trip to the Radio schedules. In the third part of Miranda Sawyer’s look at British culture against a backdrop of 1968, it seems that the country’s writers were turning their attentions to the Second World War. As things were hotting up in Vietnam, there was enough distance from the atrocities of WWII for wordsmiths to start satirising and commenting on those events. Includes contributions from Dad’s Army creators Jimmy Perry and David Croft.

Doctor Who (Saturday 7.10pm, BBC1)

We’re in the final lap now as Russell T Davies returns to scripting duties for the final four episodes of this series of Doctor Who. It’s a claustrophobic little tale with the Doctor having a break from Donna to take a trip on a space cruise that gets into trouble on the planet Midnight. It’s tense and scary (as you’d expect), with great turns from a guest cast that includes Lesley Sharp, Lindsey Coulson, Daniel Ryan and Holby City’s Rakie Ayola.

Kidulthood (Saturday 9.40pm, BBC3)

With the sequel, Adulthood, due in cinemas next week, it’s probably worth checking out the television debut of the original from the pen of Noel Clarke (Doctor Who’s Mickey Smith) following the lives of a group of 15 year olds in West London. Not dissimilar to BBC3 drama pilot W10 LDN - again written by Noel Clarke and directed, as here, by Menhaj Huda. Powerful stuff and rightly praised on its original release.

A Tribute to Humph (Sunday from 11.15am, Radio 4)

Going off piste again, but no strand of programming paying tribute to the late and forever great Humphrey Lyttleton can be ignored. Starting with a repeat of the jazz musician and I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue chairman’s final contribution to Desert Island Discs, the centrepiece of today’s programmes is Chairman Humph (12.04pm). Stephen Fry presents this fond look at Humph’s life and work, as told by some of his close friends and colleagues. There won’t be a dry eye in the house, but the laughter will surely outweigh the tears…

How TV Changed Britain (Sunday 8pm, C4)

This could be a contentious edition of the historically themed clips show that highlights how certain things have changed and developed against the backdrop of television. Tonight it’s the turn of how women have been viewed on television, from the post war years of simpering housewives, up to the strong role models of DCI Tennison and her more pleasing ilk. There’s also a look at the lines of What Not To Wear and other style/body image shows. And of course, a show about the portrayal of women on television wouldn’t be complete without Elsie Tanner.

Emmerdale (Monday 7pm, ITV1)

You know things are desperate when top of your list of TV recommendations is Emmerdale - between Big Brother and the footie, it really is slim pickings out there in the wilderness. Still, there are some storylines bubbling under in Emmerdale that could develop into something, chiefly Andy Sugden’s slow-burning descent into becoming an abusive husband. Emmerdale can do powerful on occasion, but these storylines tend to get lost in the surrounding silliness of murders and explosions. Perhaps this potentially shocking storyline will be allowed the space it needs to develop into something that might make the audience sit up and take notice.

EastEnders (Monday 8pm, BBC1)

Oooh, there’s trouble on the horizon for the EastEnders as mad Dr May Wright is back on the scene and looking for ways to snare little baby Summer away from Dawn. This really cannot end well - but whether that’s for May or the Millers remains to be seen. Amanda Drew has created one of the most memorable soap villains of recent years, giving the scary GP an effective mix of psychotic mania and tragic sympathy. It’s going to be an eventful couple of weeks in Walford.

The Victorian Sex Explorer (Tuesday 9pm, C4)

Part of the Victorian Passions season. Rupert Everett follows in the footsteps of Sir Richard Burton, the infamous 19th century explorer who embraced everything the Middle East to offer - and then some…

The Supersizers Go… Seventies (Tuesday BBC2, 9pm)

I’ve really grown to love this perky little series with Giles Coren and Sue Perkins as they embark on gastronimical time travel to consume the diets of a different era. This week may have more resonance for a majority of the audience as they’re living the 70s life this week, which means Angel Delight and fondue. Hurrah! Thinking about it, I can’t actually remember what I ate in the 1970s, but I’m looking forward to finding out!

Summer Heights High (Tuesday 10.30pm, BBC3)

A curious little sitcom from Australian comedian Chris Lilley, filmed documentary style a la The Office and set in a school. Lilley plays the majority of the parts, from drama teacher Mr G to an exchange student, with hit and miss effect. It’s all fine, but we have seen it all before really. Oh well.

The Apprentice (Wednesday 9pm BBC1)

And this is it, the final titanic battle between some of the most painfully tedious and vicious (and let’s not forget stupid) candidates a series of The Apprentice has ever put forward. Yes it’s been hugely entertaining and the ratings have been superb this year, but at what cost? Will Sir A’s bubble burst this year or will The Apprentice rise to new heights in the next, inevitable series? Whatever the future of this ratings buster, tonight the remaining candidates must create and present to industry experts an original fragrance for men. Of course this all secondary to Sir A’s deliberations, Nick’s raised eyebrows and Margaret’s pursed lips, and rest assured, there’ll be lots of that tonight…

Back To You (Wednesday 9.30pm, More 4)

Having been in the news recently following a heart attack, tonight sees More 4 bringing us the first episode of his new sitcom, where the on-time Frasier actor plays Chuck Darling, a faded news anchor who returns to his old job in Pittsburgh after being fired from his job in LA. His co-anchor just happens to be his ex-wife, played by Everybody Loves Raymond’s Patricia Heaton. And hilarity ensues… sort of. This is by no means terrible, but when you’ve played comedy royalty, audiences are always going to be comparing - and compared to Frasier, Back To You is found seriously wanting.

Heroes (Thursday 9pm, BBC2)

Ah, so now we finally discover what happened to Nathan and Peter following the climax to season one, in a flashback episode that fills in some much needed blanks. I’m still not hugely fussed by this show, but occasionally it can be mildly diverting.

Margaret Thatcher - the Long Walk to Finchley (Thursday 9pm, BBC4)

Andrea Riseborough is utterly stunning in this frothy drama about Margaret Thatcher’s early drive to become a force to be reckoned with in British politics. A young Margaret Roberts is determined to make it to parliament, despite the resistance of the dusty old soaks on the selection committees - a woman? In parliament? Surely not! It’s perhaps a little to light in places, but who said politics is supposed to be heavy and worthy all the time? And this is worth it just for Riseborough’s turn as Margaret Alone - this is a talent to watch very closely in the coming years.

Coronation Street (Friday 7.30/8.30pm)

Ooh, lots going on in he Street tonight as David Platt is released from the slammer, Steve and Dan’s rivalry boils over into something more sinister and Becky has Jason wrapped around her little finger. With Corrie at the moment, it’s all or nothing, and tonight’s pair of episodes is no exception. There’s a lot going on here, and it all feels too much - what happened to the balance that this show had? It will get it back, but right now, EastEnders is looking by far the stronger of the two - who would have thought?

The Weakest Link - The Apprentice Special (Friday 8.30pm, BBC1)

Anne Robinson giving it out to Katie Hopkins? Oh yes, I’ll buy tickets for that face off!

Alexei Sayle’s Liverpool (Friday 9pm, BBC2)

A fascinating three part series that sees Alexei Sayle revisiting the city that he left when he was 18 years old for the bright lights of London. Sayle is always passionate and this is good stuff as he attempts to reconnect with his roots in a city that still has a massive cultural resonance for not only Great Britain but for the world at large.

Peep Show (Friday 10.30pm, C4)

The final episode of this brilliant run for the best comedy on TV - but don’t worry, we are assured Jeremy and Mark will return for a new series next year. Hurrah! But what’s this? Jez waking up to his failings and realising what a loser he is? Joining a cult? MOVING OUT OF THE FLAT?! Jeremy and Mark’s dysfunctional flat share coupling is one of the great partnerships of modern television - Jeremy cannot possibly move out. But Mark has enough problems to deal with as he has one last go with Sophie - well, we didn’t see that one coming did we? Friday nights will be a lesser place from now on.

Doctor Who (Saturday 7pm, BBC1)

Second part of Steven Moffat’s brilliant and nightmarish tale set on a vast library in the far future. With the Doctor running for his life from the shadowy Vashta Nerada and Donna trapped in a strange domestic world that just doesn’t feel quite right, this is one of the most confusing yet satisfying Doctor Who tales for quite some time. There is so much layering here, repeated viewing might be needed to get the best out of The Forest of Death, but there are scares aplenty to keep the little ones interested and enough questions to keep the adults hooked.

The Minotaur Parts One and Two (Saturday 7.35pm/9.40pm)

If blokes kicking a pig’s bladder around a patch of grass for 90 minutes isn’t your thing, then dive into a bit of high culture - with a repeat of I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue sandwiched in between. This is Harrison Birtwistle’s latest opera, based around the legend of the Minotaur - you know, a prince comes, stalks a half man, half bull creature through a maze, kills it, goes home, all with the help of a beautiful princess. It’s a great story, and this opera goes beyond sumptuous, full of amazing imagery and powerful music. Avoid the footie and Big Brother and watch something worthwhile for a change.

*Big Brother (Saturday 9pm, C4) * Oh whatever.

Taggart (Sunday 9pm, ITV1)

It’s amazing when faced with the onslaught of football and Big Brother that we can take solace in a tried and tested drama format. In tonight’s everyday story of Scottish policeman, Burke and his team investigate the link between a murder and an illegal betting syndicate. It’s actually good stuff and still manages the odd surprise - who would have thought it after all these years?

The Sunday Night Project (Sunday 10pm, C4)

Who on earth thought The Friday Night Project would work on a Sunday? The always enjoyable pairing of JLC and Alan Carr works on a Friday as it has a brilliant, naughty end of the week feel to it. We don’t have to get up on Saturday morning, we can kick back with a beer and enjoy the mayhem. On a Sunday, who’s going to enjoy some silly banter with Peter Andre and Katie Price when they have to be up and off to work on Monday morning. No - great show, horrendous scheduling.

EastEnders (Monday 8pm, BBC1)

My, my, but ‘Enders really is on form at the moment. The show seems to have remembered what makes a soap tick, having performed some sterling work in the character department, especially in strengthening the women of Albert Square - Roxy Mitchell and Tanya Branning springing to mind on that front. However, tonight there it’s out and out comedy as Bradley gets locked out of his house in the buff and the Millers win the lottery (oh really?). Elsewhere there is some socially relevant drama as Chelsea is nicking cash from the till to fuel the cocaine habit she’s developed within about 30 seconds.

The Great British Body (Monday 9pm, ITV1)

Trinny and Susannah try to get a bit more serious in this three part series that attempts to uncover the truth about the British body - are we a nation of skinny minnies or is the country running to fat? Rest assured, T&S will get to the bottom of it. So to speak.

Queen Victoria’s Men (Monday 9pm, C4)

She liked her men did Queen Victoria, according to this nice, if light, documentary peppered with reconstructions. Thanks to works like Mrs Brown, we know about her close relationship with her ghillie, John Brown, and of course her marriage to Prince Albert was something of a fairytale and long-lasting royal coupling. But there were others, as this documentary delves into, including Lord Melbourne (apparently it upset the Conservative Party, so that can only be a good thing). Enjoyable stuff, and now that Britain’s Got Talent has finished, what else are you going to be watching?

Emmerdale (Tuesday 7pm, ITV1)

Although the 5000th episode of Emmerdale was last week, this hour-long wedding caper seems to have been earmarked as the official celebration of Emmerdale’s enduring popularity. And it’s packed to the gills as the village prepares to celebrate the marriage of veteran Emmerdale regular Eric Pollard to Val Lambert. There’s a frankly silly kidnap plot underpinning proceedings, and a guest turn from Anthony Worrall Thompson as himself. It is silly, yes, but it’s also an enjoyable moment in Emmerdale’s long history - and not an exploding house in sight!

The Culture Show (Tuesday 10pm, BBC2)

A new slot for The Culture Show (which makes much more sense) as Lauren Laverne presides over a look at Ricky Gervais’s directorial debut, This Side of the Truth, amongst other high and low cultural endeavours. An extended repeat of the show is on Friday at 11.35pm, a nice fit for Newsnight Review just ahead of it.

The Apprentice (Wednesday 9pm, BBC1)

The penultimate edition of The Apprentice is always my favourite as this is where the playing field is not so much levelled as bulldozed into tiny pieces as the candidates finally sit down and get a proper drubbing in an interview environment. This is the one where Sir A’s business and golfing buddies give the remaining candidates a tense and serious interview and generally reduce them to gibbering wrecks. (Actually, I don’t know if Sir A plays golf - he doesn’t seem the type somehow). CVs are duly ripped apart, convictions challenged and arrogant swaggers shown the door. At the end of this, we’ll be one step away from knowing who The Apprentice 2008 will be. Love it!

Taggart (Thursday 9pm, ITV1)

It’s not often I say “Thank God for Taggart!”, but with the circus of horror taking place over on C4, I am thanking my lucky stars for some well made, well acted crime drama as a blissful alternative. I do think Taggart should have been put out to pasture a couple of years ago, but it remains an enjoyable piece of hokum to pass an hour. In tonight’s tale, the body of a private investigator is found after he was on the trail of a missing woman,

Big Brother (Thursday 9pm, C4)

With that tedious, shuffling inevitability, Davina McCall presides yet another depressing round of Big Brother. I’m mentioning it here because, well, it’s hard to escape, but I managed to live without it last year, and I’m looking forward to another blissful summer of no Brother. Please, do join me…

Emmerdale (Friday 7pm, ITV1)

The 5000th episode goes off with a bit of a whimper tonight as not a great deal happens. The powder it seems is being kept dry for next week’s double-episode wedding of Eric Pollard to the always-brilliant Val Lambert.

Have I Got News For You (Friday 9pm, BBC1)

The guest host element of HIGNFY has generally worked very well, but it’s always a relief to get somebody who is just very good at it and could probably make a pretty good fist of the job on a full time basis. And of all those who could do the gig, I can never think of anybody better than Alexander Armstrong. Confident, funny and genial, he’s just brilliant and his appearance tonight is very welcome.

Peep Show (Friday 10.30pm, C4)

Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant! Jez and Super Hans finally get a manager for their band and get booked to play a Christian rock festival - and Mark comes along as their roadie. Any write up of Peep Show by its nature will always undersell the experience of watching it. Words just cannot convey the understated brilliance of this comedy, so I won’t bother - just watch it!

I’d Do Anything - The Final (Saturday 6pm/7pm, BBC1)

The most fun BBC talent search comes to an end tonight as the final three Nancies face off against each other to take on a new production of Oliver! in the West End. I think it’s too close to call, but I’m setting my cap at Jodie to go the distance. Certainly if the crowd’s reaction to her at the Liza Minnelli concert a few nights ago is anything to go by, she certainly appears to be the public’s favourite. As always, Scott will be on hand with the post match analysis later in the weekend.

Britain’s Got Talent - The Final (6.50pm/9.30pm, ITV1)

I really could not care less, but it seems that 10 million members of the British public could. I’m not blind to the attractions of the format - the talent show is a long-standing tradition of the entertainment world - but there are limits to how much I can take. And Piers Morgan is at the lower end of those limits. Sorry… Jodie to win!

Doctor Who (Saturday 7pm, BBC1)

After a week’s break, Doctor Who returns with a typically spooky two-part tale from the pen of show runner in waiting Steven Moffat. The Doctor and Donna land in the largest library in the universe, containing every book ever published. But where is everybody, and what evil is lurking in the shadows? Joined by an archaeological team led by the flirty Professor River Song (who seems to know the Doc a little better than she should), there’s soon lots of running away from scary skeletons stalking the library stacks. Silence in the Library looks utterly beautiful throughout and is very, very scary. You have been warned.

Florence Nightingale (Sunday 7pm, BBC1)

Laura Fraser takes on the mantle of the Lady of the Lamp who was a heroine to many injured soldiers in the Crimea. It’s okay in a plodding kind of way, but an hour seems too sleight to tell the story of Nightingale’s return from the war and how angry she was at the British military and the rank conditions of its hospitals. It’s engaging nonetheless, with good support from Roy Hudd, amongst others.

The Inspector Lynley Mysteries (Sunday 8pm, BBC1)

A final final end for the toffy nosed ‘tec as this brief two-part series comes to an end, and with it the prospect of no more Lynley. Oh well, the wider TV audience will barely bat an eyelid, but I shall be sad. Lynley and Havers investigate the disappearance of a second girl following the discovery of a body in a lake. Will the missing girl be found in time? I hope so, considering this is the last episode. Look out for a guest turn from Foyle’s War’s Honeysuckle Weeks.

How TV Changed Britain (Sunday 8pm, C4)

The beginning of a six-part documentary series that should be of interest to all TV Today readers. In tonight’s opener, the depiction of the police is put under the microscope, with usual suspects Dixon of Dock Green, Z Cars and Life on Mars all in the line-up. Will it prove probing and conclusive in its findings? That remains to be seen, but it’s alsways fun seeing Jack Reagan telling a villain to put his trousers on cos he’s nicked.