Coronation Street (Friday 7.30pm, ITV1)

There’s a definite sense that Corrie is treading water at the moment. It’s probably down to the summer malaise that hits TV, but there’s no sense of momentum or building storylines. The most interesting to do down the cobbles at the moment is Tony’s sabre rattling in the direction of stretching his property empire across the Street, with Kevin Webster likely to be caught in the crossfire. On the whole, a bit meh, but as always with Corrie, brilliance is never far away.

Celebrity Masterchef (Friday 8.30pm, BBC1)

The biggest shock from this week’s return of the best show on television, like ever, was that Sean Wilson, formerly Coronation Street’s Martin Platt, is a renowned actor. I would imagine that’s down his local. The problem with Celebrity Masterchef is that John and Gregg just aren’t as rude to the celebs as they are to Joe Public, which is one of the delights of the format. Still, it’s as entertaining as ever and tonight is the first quarter final where it’s likely Andi Peters will cry, Claire off of Steps will smile a lot (I like her), Louis Emerick (he was in Brookie you know) will let us know how competitive he is and…. And forgive me, but I’ve lost interest in the fella who was apparently in The Bill. Great entertainment as always.

Criminal Justice (Friday 9pm, BBC1)

This final episode of Peter Moffat’s gripping drama is likely to be as tense as a bowl of pasta put in front of John Torode. We’re approaching the end of the trial as Ben awaits his fate, but will his barrister be able to uncover some new and vital evidence that will change the direction of the trial? A brilliant piece of work, but as Scott pointed out earlier this week, why did it have to come and go like a summer cloud across one week of the schedules?

Doctor Who (Saturday 6.40pm, BBC1)

Oh thank God for that. This clapped out load of sci-fi nonsense finally limps to the end of the series. Frankly I couldn’t care less, I don’t know what people see in this rubbish, it never ceases to amaze me how… Ah, who am I kidding? I’ve been a gibbering wreck all week waiting to find out if we’re about to get a new Doctor, just what has happened to Rose’s teeth and just where on Earth is K9. This is going to be a nail biting 65 minutes, so take the phone off the hook, pour the pinot and crack open the crisps. It’s the TV event of the year.

Last Choir Standing (Saturday 7.45pm, BBC1)

A new spin on the talent show format of recent years as Myleene Klaas and Nick Knowles lead the search for Britain’s best choir. This has the potential to be very good indeed and the talent on display - there’s every kind of choir that you can think of here - is likely to be a cut above what we’ve been used to in the past. The judges are Russell Watson, Suzi Digby and Holby City’s Sharon D Clarke. Read our First Look preview.

The NHS: a Difficult Beginning (Saturday 8.30pm, BBC2)

On the 60th anniversary of the start of the NHS, this documentary is well worth looking at, chronicling the Herculean task of health minister Nye Bevan in revolutionising the way we receive medical treatment in the UK.

George Gently (Sunday 8pm, BBC1)

Martin Shaw provides an oasis of pleasure in the desert-like schedules as he returns as Northumberland detective George Gently following last year’s enjoyable pilot. It’s 1964, and Gently and sidekick DS Bacchus (Lee Ingleby, brilliant as ever) investigate a murder that draws them into a plot involving gunrunning and the IRA. It’s gentle (geddit) in that sleepy Foyle’s War kind of way (Shaw has the look of Michael Kitchen in this), but no less enjoyable for it.

Midsomer Murders (Sunday 8pm, ITV1)

As a relatively new kid on the crime block gets down to business on BBC1, a venerable old prizefighter is still going strong on ITV with the return of Inspector Barnaby for four new investigations in Midsomer Murders. Cully Barnaby is getting hitched, but as ever in the life a village policeman, dad Tom is soon called away when the maid of honour at another wedding is stabbed to death.

Dexter (Sunday 10pm, FX)

The Square Eyes Sunday crime theme continues with the second season of Dexter on FX. Serial-killer good guy Dexter is having difficulty offing bad guys at the beginning of this new series as he’s been tailed by his increasingly suspicious colleague Doakes. It’s brilliantly done, with Michael C Hall carrying off the trick of playing a murdering psychopath who is utterly likeable and charming. Great stuff.

I had to read this news report several times before the words ‘human’ and ‘Tetris’ penetrated my conscious thought, then it took a while for me to work out that the words were meant to go together. The n when you add in the words ‘BBC1’, ‘Saturday night’ and ‘Dale Winton’, we have what adds up to some Hieronymus Bosch hellish vision of a new gameshow.

And yet…

This may be the one piece of television news that Kevin Spacey doesn’t want to hear (save for any further announcements of theatre casting shows), but the BBC is putting its weight, and its reduced budgets, behind drama series and serials rather than single plays.

Speaking at the Royal Television Society, Jane Tranter, Controller of BBC Fiction, sounded somewhat exasperated at the prolonged harking back to a golden age of Play for Today by many people, of whom Spacey was just the latest:

I am beginning to lose the will to live over the continual conversation about how wonderful television drama used to be, with particular reference to Play For Today.

Yes, it was a fantastic strand of work and it gave voice to some wonderful writers, and we can all remember many examples of the stand-out plays from its run? Can’t we?

There’s a lot to digest in her speech — a full transcript of which is online at the BBC press Office website. The Stage’s resident media expert Maggie Brown has analysed the speech in far better detail than I ever could on The Guardian’s media blog.

One point that Tranter made is that drama series tap into TV’s unique ability to provide us with ongoing stories in ways that cinema and theatre cannot.

So why are so many commissions seemingly afraid to take advantage of that?

Do you ever get the feeling that when it is placed under the wider scrutiny of its peers and industry regulators such as Ofcom, that BSkyB (forever to be shorted to good old “Sky”), just stamps its feet like a spoiled child worrying about a bigger boy coming to nick its sweets?

The broadcaster’s recent submission as part of Ofcom’s current review of public service broadcasting (reported by The Guardian) is somewhat teary, particularly in relation to the BBC’s (and a lesser extent Channel 4) activity in purchasing shows from overseas.

“The BBC should step back entirely from other areas. In particular, there is no justification for the BBC using public money to outbid commercial broadcasters for Hollywood films and US series”

This does seem to be a harshly territorial stance from Sky, which clearly has a vested interest in being able to cherry pick the best shows from across the pond. Having first run rights to shows like Lost, Battlestar Galactica and The Simpsons is a hugely important element of Sky’s broadcasting model, one that has served the broadcaster well over the years. But to suggest the BBC should be barred from this market is churlish at best.

Well thank you very much Russell T Davies! How on earth do you review that, eh? Perhaps the most bonkers, delicious, audacious, brilliant, silly, exciting and scary piece of Doctor Who seen in the 45-year history of this crazy, unstoppable TV series. The Stolen Earth had a bombastic confidence about it that was thankfully a million miles away from the beginning of last year’s two-part run around finale with The Master.

From the off, it’s obvious Davies has approached this with the intention of going out with a copper bottom pop. You can imagine him cracking his knuckles as he sat down to work on the script for The Stolen Earth, thinking: “I’m never going to be able to do this again in my life, so let’s just go for it!” And go for it he has.

Criminal Justice (Monday - Friday 9pm, BBC1)

Bill Patterson and Ben Whishaw star in this thoroughly compelling and highly watchable drama stripped nightly across the week, a device the BBC appears to be increasingly fond of. Whishaw is Ben Coulter, a young lad who sets off on a night out, only for it to end in tragedy when he commits a terrible crime - apparently. Apparently, because Ben can’t remember a damn thing about what happened. What unfolds is a depiction of the legal system from the inside out as Ben is put through the wringer from all angles. British TV drama at its best.

Coupling (Monday 11.10pm, Paramount Comedy)

Going slightly off piste and back in time for Square Eyes, this is a chance to see the very first episode of Steven Moffat’s Coupling. Aside from the fact that there isn’t great deal on worth watching tonight (save for Criminal Justice), this is a good opportunity to see some of Moffat’s earlier work as he prepares to take over the running of the good ship Doctor Who next year. It’s frothy and fun with some blistering one-liners, but there are no gasmasks in sight.

Emmerdale: Blood Ties (Tuesday 7pm, ITV1)

Not that I’m going out of my way to recommend the life of everyday of posh country folk, I just find it amusing that these hour long editions have odd subtitles beyond the simple Emmerdale moniker. Blood Ties! It all sounds very dramatic and scary, as if Lynda La Plante had suddenly taken up writing for the rural soap. Now that I would like to see, but sadly not as this turns out to be just another bog standard soap episode. What next? Emmerdale: Mucking Out?

Duncan Bannatyne Takes on Big Tobacco (Tuesday 9pm, BBC2)

There’s something incredibly likeable about Dragon’s Den’s Duncan Bannatyne. He might be filthy rich, but he’s clearly worked for it and is a massive benefactor to charities and other deserving causes around the UK. In this documentary he takes on almost hero status for me as he heads off to Africa to investigate the tobacco industry and why more young people are taking up the habit there. He discovers some shocking practices from the big tobacco peddling companies and this documentary stands as an insightful and revealing piece of work.

The Culture Show (Tuesday 10pm, BBC2)

On the 60th anniversary of the publication of George Orwell’s 1984, Germaine Greer, a reluctant graduate of the Celebrity Big Brother house, gathers together a group of ex-Big Brother contestants to discuss the merits of the great novel. Now I don’t know about you, but I think there’s something strangely perverse about that - kind of like eating a Pot Noodle at The Ivy.

Celebrity Masterchef (Wednesday 8pm, BBC1)

Saints be praised! There’s something decent to watch for the next couple of weeks and it just turns out to be the return of the celebrity-tinged version of Square Eyes favourite Masterchef. G’day John, wotcha Gregg, we’ve missed you guys! Of course, Celebrity Masterchef is not about somebody bagging themselves a career as a chef (although Claire off of Steps could probably do with the work), but will any of them be good enough to impress John and Gregg. Have I mentioned I ADORE this show?

Marco’s Great British Feast (Wednesday 9pm, ITV1)

As John and Gregg taste their way through the celeb-cooked food on BBC1, he enfant terrible of the food world, Marco Pierre White, gets an outing in a new show on ITV1. The roots of this hybrid format are clear if you look for them - White travels around the country looking for the best produce and ingredients for a totally British menu. It’s nothing new or startling, but White does provide a dangerously different presence to the usual TV chefs that populate the box.

Drama Trails (Wednesday 9pm, ITV3)

Clearly riffing on the BBC’s …Connections strand, Drama Trails has James Nesbitt narrating this fun little series that connects popular dramas to other shows, starting here with Coronation Street. To a TV trivia daftie like me this is manna from heaven.

Heroes (Thursday 9pm, BBC2)

Blah blah… season finale blah blah… shanti virus blah blah… Petrelli brothers reunited blah blah… Hiro out for revenge blah blah… not as good as the first season blah blah… will season three be better than this meandering nonsense? Blah blah… I really hope so…

The Graham Norton Show (Thursday 9.45pm, BBC2)

To ease the pain of the agonising wait until the final episode of Doctor Who on Saturday, Donna Noble herself, aka Catherine Tate, pops in for a chat with Graham. Expect lots of laughs and fun along the way.

Fallout (Thursday 10pm, C4)

Once again Channel 4 shows its mastery of the one-off drama in this stunning adaptation by Roy Williams of his stage play that delves into the increasingly worrying issue of teen violence on the streets of Britain. The effortlessly brilliant Lennie James plays Joe, a copper drafted in to help investigate the murder of a teenager on the estate where he grew up. It’s a thoughtful, intelligent piece that plays on how the stabbing of the teenager impales across the lives of those who live on the estate and how Joe’s eyes are opened up to some harsh realities.

Glastonbury (various times, Friday-Sunday, BBC3/BBC2)

If you fancy a lazy weekend hanging around the house, then at some point you’re going to come across the Beeb’s Glastonbury coverage. It’s always well done, and a great way to see some of the acts while having access to a clean loo that doesn’t involve traipsing through miles of mud. Lauren Laverne, Edith Bowman, Mark Radcliffe and Zane Lowe are your presenters.

Coronation Street (Friday 7.30/8.30pm, ITV1)

I’m not quite sure why Steve McDonald went off and slept with Becky Granger. Steve’s relationship with Michelle Connor was a perfectly lovely soap coupling, but those pesky storyliners just can’t stop monkeying with things, can they? Michelle is on the warpath, accusing Leanne of being Steve’s illicit lover, but Lloyd spins an elaborate tale to help get Steve off the hook. It will all end in tears, mark my words!

Deadliest Catch (Friday 8pm, C4)

Well naturally, it’s one of the best shows on the box, so where else are you going to be? On the crab!

To The Manor Born (Friday 9pm, BBC1)

A very welcome re-run for the lovely Christmas revival of the BBC sitcom classic. A great antidote to the utter rubbish over on Channel 4.

Doctor Who (Saturday 7.10pm, BBC1)

After the last few weeks of more adult, psychologically taut tales, Doctor Who returns firmly to the high-octane, epic adventure we’ve come to expect from previous finales. The Stolen Earth is an audacious yarn from the pen of Russell T Davies - it’s like one of those cracking Marvel Comic team-ups that have Spider-Man, the X-Men and The Avengers all turning up in the same comic. Here we have Captain Jack and the Torchwood team, Sarah Jane Smith and her son Luke off of The Sarah Jane Adventures, and Dr Martha Jones, all present and correct for the final battle with the Dalek Empire - and this time, they’ve brought a friend. Fantastic, huge, silly entertainment of the highest order.

Who Dares Sings! (Saturday 8pm, ITV1)

An odd concept for a show as Denise Van Outen and Ben Shephard challenge 100 members of a studio audience to take on the talents of Sam, a super computer with a penchant for karaoke. Bless. I don’t quite know what the point of this is, but with a £50,000 cash prize up for grabs, maybe there doesn’t have to be a point. It certainly never stops ITV.

How TV Changed Britain (Saturday 8pm, C4)

A move to Saturday night for this interesting little show that trawls through the archives of television past and asks how certain things were influenced within society. Terry Christian and Magenta DeVine are amongst the talking heads peppered throughout the clips this evening, so it isn’t hard to work out that this edition is covering how television catered for a younger audience over the years. Network 7, The Word and beyond all get a look in - beware, this could really make you feel your age.

Law and Order (Saturday 10.50pm, Five)

A landmark episode of Law and Order that sees Jerry Orbach’s final appearance as Detective Lenny Briscoe after 12 seasons.

Top Gear (Sunday 8pm, BBC2)

Spooks actors Rupert Penry-Jones and Peter Firth are tonight’s stars in a reasonably priced car, Richard Hammond jumps in a swish Audi t challenge some French skiers, and no doubt James May will no doubt turn up looking like he’s just got out of bed. Brush your hair and stop dressing like a student from the late 80s!

The Royal (Sunday 8pm, BBC1)

It seems that tonight The Royal is the one drama that isn’t a repeat, which almost makes it worth watching. Almost. There’s no point in talking about the story on offer as by and large this show is the same week in, week in. It still looks lovely though, and the soundtrack is always a pleasure. And it least it’s brand new and doesn’t involve football or housemates - something of a rarity in tonight’s schedules.

Aw bless! I was very heartened by this lovely story over on The Stage’s news pages, reporting on Sooty’s 60th birthday and how he has been bought out from his current owners by the show’s presenter, Richard Cadell. Cadell hopes to bring the enduring TV favourite back to television, as well as planning a live show, Sooty in Space, early next year.

I find it heartening that in the days of CGI the Internet and ADD, there is still, somewhere, a place for a small, mute, naughty yellow bear with black ears in the hearts of children. The character appeals to the mischievous side of every child, big or small, that desire to play practical jokes and wreak some innocent havoc with those around us. And Sooty isn’t alone - the same principal applies to the likes of Basil Brush and Emu, puppet characters that have both seen reasonably successful revivals in recent years. Long may it continue.

Last week, I described the psychologically terrifying Midnight as Russell T Davies’s

“finest script from four years of Doctor Who”.

I also pondered whether

“he’ll better it in the next three weeks.”

With Turn Left, he gave that challenge a spirited go and delivered a confident, witty and thoughtful piece that possibly just nudges ahead of Midnight. Turn Left provides a sideways glance at the Doctor Who universe by revisiting events we’ve seen in the last few years and puts Catherine Tate front and centre while David Tennant was off filming Midnight. It also brings Billie Piper back to the Doctor Who fold, and while I’m not usually fussed over that event, I can see why some may have been a gibbering wreck over their fish fingers and chips on Saturday night.

The premise of Turn Left is simple - what if Donna had never met the Doctor? What if on the morning she was due to turn up at HC Clements to start her new job, leading to the events of The Runaway Bride, Donna turned right instead of left and landed a different job? She never met the Doctor, she never ended up beneath the Thames on Christmas Day, wasn’t there to help the Time Lord defeat the Racnoss. Basically, what if the Doctor died there and then?

On paper, there’s no way it should work. A choral competition would be a no-brainer for BBC2, or Radio 3. Stick it on BBC1 on a Sunday evening as a summer replacement for Songs of Praise, and nobody would bat an eyelid. But primetime on Saturday night? How on Earth could that possibly work?

On the basis of last night’s press launch for Last Choir Standing, which starts on BBC1 on Saturday July 5 (TBC), I think there’s every chance that it will.

Apologies for the lack of a review for Turn Left, last weekend’s stunning Doctor Who outing that should silence the Catherine Tate naysayers (ah, who am I kidding?). This oversight will be rectified tomorrow when I have reconciled just how an unconvincing giant beetle, blue-tacked to the flame-haired goddess’s back, could be so effective. And yes, I did just call Catherine Tate a flame-haired goddess, so there!

And of course, like most of our readers I imagine, I can only roll my eyes and sigh at the absurdity of Heinz pulling the ad for its Deli Mayo range over concerns about depicting a same sex couple. Sometimes all you can do is despair at the world.

Speaking of despair, and I know I’m behind the news a little, but I see that TV Today favourite Nigel Harman is to take over from Max Beesley on Hotel Babylon, one of my favourite guilty pleasures on the box. Long time readers of TV Today will know of the disdain I have for the unique talents of Mr Harman (yes, lobster is still off!), but sometimes, in those dark moments, I sometimes wish The Outsiders had been commissioned for a full series.

You know what though? I reckon Harman will fit right in at Hotel Babylon!

Coronation Street (7.30pm, ITV1)

The comedy continues apace in the house swap of the year as the Peacocks finally settle in on the other side of the Street. While rummaging around in the loft, Claire makes a discovery that might just change her family’s life forever. Have Stan and Hilda left a legacy that will put Claire and Ashley on the gravy train? Elsewhere, Tony, with his bulging eyes, puts his foot down at the factory.

EastEnders (Monday 8pm, BBC1)

After last week’s explosive events down the East End, Albert Square is at home to yet more shocks this evening as a familiar face turns up in Walford. It would be churlish to reveal who this rascal is, but put it this way, there’s one local lady who will not be pleased to see them. Will anybody else be happy? Watch it and find out…

Justin Lee Collins: 180 (Monday, 10pm, Sky One)

There’s something undeniably watchable about Justin Lee Collins, and in this fun little piece he turns his hand to conquering the world of competitive darts. I’m always bang on for a bit of arrows action, and complete with Collins’s irreverent (if shouty) charms, this is nicely entertaining in a down at heel kind of way. Look on the bright side - it isn’t Big Brother, and for that we can all be thankful.

Holby City (Tuesday 8pm, BBC1)

Back where it belongs on a Tuesday evening, Holby City goes international in tonight’s instalment as Joseph and relative newcomer Linden head off to Cape Town to rescue Faye from whatever scrape she’s got herself into. But just what secret is Linden hiding as he starts the episode sitting in a confessional and clearly wanting to get something off his chest? Elsewhere, is Connie still as fabulous as ever? Of course she is!

The Supersizers Go… Regency (Tuesday 9pm, BBC2)

My favourite TV pleasure of the minute comes to an end this week as Giles Coren takes on the dietary regime of a Regency dandy, along with Sue Perkins who dons the frock of a Jane Austen heroine. Brilliant as always, these shows reveal as much about history as they do the food. The week moves along with the usual face stuffing and booze quenching, culminating in a lavish ball. I for one hope the Supersizers will return before too long.

Tribal Wives (Wednesday 9pm, BBC2)

The proof is in the pudding this week to assess whether Tribal Wives is going to be a one trick pony or has the legs for six episodes. Last week we saw Sass find a little bit of happiness in an unfulfilled life; this week it’s the turn of hardworking single mum Karen. Will spending a month with an Ecuadorian tribe show her there’s more to life? Probably. I’m hoping one week we’ll see somebody come back from the experience even more depressed than they went in.

Snowdon and Margaret: Inside a Royal Marriage (Wednesday 9pm, C4)

A revealing and insightful documentary that lifts the lid on one of the most tempestuous royal couplings of modern times, which ended amidst much tabloid scuttlebutt in 1978. Princess Margaret and Lord Snowdon were married for 18-year years, and Snowdon has always come out the better of the two in subsequent examinations of their marriage. This documentary seeks to redress some of the balance…

EastEnders (Thursday 7.30pm, BBC1)

Assuming the footie doesn’t muck things up, Dot tries to get Bradley and Stacey back together tonight. Dot, love, if you keep flogging a dead horse, one day it might win the Grand National. Until then, why don’t you go and sit down and have a ciggie?

Heroes (Thursday 9pm, BBC2)

It’s the penultimate episode of a shortened season of Heroes, and we finally start to see what’s been going on. It’s summat about a virus, a virus that could destroy everything if it mutated or… do stop me if I’m boring you… I do find it very hard to summon up interest in what is undeniably a very well made, imaginative TV drama. I can see the charm of Heroes and why it’s good - I just don’t feel it.

Coronation Street (Friday 7.30pm, ITV1)

You know you’re in trouble when the best thing about Coronation Street is a comedy storyline concerning a house swap between the Websters and the Peacocks - with hilarious results… It’s the day of the move as Sally prepares to ascend to t’other side of the Street, but when their funds don’t clear, Claire refuses to budge. Both clans sit tight, facing each other across the legendary cobbles with their worldly possessions laid bare for all to see. It’s good fun in the way that only Corrie can be, and something tells us that this story won’t end well.

Deadliest Catch (Friday 8pm, C4)

Deadliest Catch is one of the most addictive shows on television right now, and here at TV Today we love the death defying feats performed by the crab fishermen out in the Bering Sea. It’s the same week in, week out, but remains utterly compelling. Tonight, the opelia season opens and Captain Sig is on the crab straight away, but Captain Phil is being a little more cautious as the temperature drops.

Alexei Sayle’s Liverpool (Friday 9pm, BBC2)

The final part of this wonderful portrait of Liverpool by the engaging yet caustic Alexei Sayle. Tonight’s closing chapter brings things down to a personal level as he seeks out his mum Molly for a chat and considers his own identity as a scouser. Alexei Sayle’s Liverpool has been a refreshing oasis in the desert of the current TV schedules.

Doctor Who (Saturday 6.40pm, BBC1)

Catherine Tate shines as Donna in this episode that asks, with sinister effect, what would happen if Donna had not met the Doctor by simply turning left instead of right. It’s a breathtaking piece of work that revisits where Doctor Who has been over the last few years and repaints familiar events from a different perspective. Not only is Tate superb, Turn Left also features the return of Billie Piper to the role of Rose Tyler and sets things up nicely for what we are promised will be a storming season finale.

Andrew Marr’s History of Modern Britain (Saturday 8pm, BBC2)

It’s a repeat, but that doesn’t make Andrew Marr’s appraisal of our country’s modern history any less watchable or fascinating. This final part covers the post Thatcher years in Britain and assesses the fortunes (or otherwise) of Messrs Major and Blair during their time at Number 10. Considering the events currently taking place around the world, this feels chillingly relevant.

Joyce Grenfell - Comedy with Breeding (Saturday 11.15pm, BBC2)

A criminally late slot for this profile of the comedy legend, previously shown on BBC4.

Last of the Summer Wine (Sunday 6.35pm, BBC1)

There’s something comforting about reading in the schedules that there’s a new series of Last of the Summer Wine. This show is not made for me (although I loved it as a nipper), but the fact it’s still there, still chugging away, gives me a little warm glow and tells me that all is well with the world. It’s rare that a modern TV show gets by simply on the virtue of simply being lovely, and that’s something we should cherish, don’t you think?

Top Gear (Sunday 8pm, BBC2)

The three motoring musketeers are back for a new run of the ratings busting Top Gear. I love and loathe this show in equal measure. It’s undeniably entertaining and Clarkson, Hammond and May have great rapport. However, it has an appalling approach to environmental issues, and that makes me increasingly uncomfortable.

The Royal (Sunday 8pm, ITV1)

Unless the footie cocks things up, The Royal returns for a new 10 part series in all its cosy glory. Again, like Last of the Summer Wine, this might not appeal to my particular demographic, but I know people who are happier because this gentle drama exists (hello Mum!), and that’s good enough for me.

How TV Changed Britain (Sunday 8pm, C4)

As the property market is giving a lot of people cause for worry, this edition of the frothy TV retrospective series is a timely look at how property and home improvement shows have occupied the TV landscape over the years. Thanks to the likes of Sarah Beeny and Phil and Kirstie, we are a nation obsessed - have shows such as Property Ladder contributed to the current uncertainty? It’s a sobering thought…

On the basis of this news story from Matt over on The Stage’s news pages, very possibly. It has today been announced that ITV and Twentieth Centrury Fox Television have entered into a deal whereby both companies will have access to each other’s programme back catalogue and current and future production slate. There will therefore be opportunity to develop shows from this pool on either side of the Atlantic, and the option to develop a show in both territories in tandem.

Can I venture forth that this is one of the craziest ideas to come out of the TV industry in quite some time - and that’s saying a lot considering somebody thought commissioning Harley Street was a good idea (if you’re very lucky, we’ll have a Square Eyes special preview of a drama that makes The Palace look like high art very soon).

But for the architects of this landmark deal between the two companies, I have just two words for you: BRIGHTON BELLES! Surely your memories are not that short for the love of God! And since that UK spin on American sitcom gold The Golden Girls, we’ve also had the TV car crash otherwise known as Days Like These, a ham-fisted attempt to ape the success of That ’70s Show. I still have nightmares and wake up in a cold sweat after that particular nugget of quality.

Quick pop quiz. Who created the Bafta-winning series The Street? Who wrote the Bafta-winning film The Mark of Cain? Who wrote the recent BBC adaptation of Sense and Sensibility?

Top marks if you were able to correctly identify Jimmy McGovern, Tony Marchant and Andrew Davies. Some very well-known names in the world of television.

Now for the supplementary question: who directed each of those dramas?

Chances are, unless you’re really well up on your production credits trivia (or have taken a sneaky glance at IMDB) that you have no idea. When it comes to giving recognition for a quality television production, we’re more likely to give credit the actor or the writer — the director’s name rarely gets an acknowledgement.