The New Statesman - Episode 2006: The Blair B’Stard Project

Published Wednesday 26 April 2006 at 15:40 by John Thaxter

Four series of ITV’s The New Statesman, with Rik Mayall’s randy portrayal of Alan B’Stard MP, did almost as much as wayward Tory ministers to bring down both Thatcher and the Major government.

Twelve years on, for this touring stage version, Marks and Gran revive their monstrous hero as a New Labour politician, ruling the roost at No 9 Downing Street alongside Clive Hayward’s old Labour loyalist but with a venomous hatred of the Beeb to rival Alastair Campbell’s - a satirical assault perhaps prompted by the authors’ loss of BBC car park privileges, following their notorious McTaggart lecture.

Elsewhere, to put it kindly, they find only soft targets, from Hoon and Nanny Hewitt to Cherie’s hair and Gordon’s monocularity, hardly the stuff of satire as names are dropped to trigger laughs, while B’Stard reaches a frenzy of C-word abuse with Her Majesty on the phone.

Cumbersome schemes involve Condoleezza (Alexandra Gunn) invading Norway in search of oil, a suicidal terrorist demanding WMDs and Tony having himself kidnapped to improve his poll ratings. Meanwhile Marsha Fitzalan, repeating her screen role, dons Avenger leather to bring her husband Alan to heel.

But what most delights the crowd is not the script but Mayall’s knowing rapport with the audience and his outrageous clowning as he recovers from a night of whoring, followed by tireless frottage, wanking over internet porn, and embarking on athletic bonking with his latest parliamentary aide Flora (Helen Baker). His zip fly is ever ready for action, juvenile stuff maybe but fun for a youthful following with no political affiliations beyond the pursuit of a good laugh.