The Stage

TV review

Published Monday 25 January 2010 at 16:15 by Harry Venning

Any film that starts with the caption: “Gwent Police, University of Wales, Newport and Tredegar Comprehensive School presents…” is bound to be a little different. And so it proves with Only Stwpd Cowz Txt N Drive, a road safety film with aspirations towards genuine drama, hence its elevation from YouTube, where it has proved something of a phenomenon, to the schedules of BBC3.

In the spirit of Casualty, the film introduces the viewer to a trio of teenage friends, invites us to briefly visit their world and then destroys it all in as gory, shocking and spectacular a fashion as the budget will stretch to. Unlike Casualty, with its cynical massacres of secondary characters, Only Stwpd Cowz Text N Drive also deals with the emotional, physical and legal consequences of a lethal traffic accident.

There aren’t too many surprises in the plot, the title being a bit of a give away, but in an ambitious 15-minute prologue, the film actually succeeds in creating characters you care about, injecting a considerable amount of humour and coaxing winning performances from a young and engaging cast. All of which ensure that the tragedy that follows is even more poignant and appalling.

Moving swiftly on to a jollier theme, The Fast Show is back. Only they’ve tweaked the format, introduced a spurious linking theme and changed the title to Bellamy’s People. But otherwise, it’s Charlie Higson, Paul Whitehouse and their repertory company, frequently unrecognisable beneath mountains of prosthetic make-up, parading a quick-fire array of quirky, comic creations.

Based on Radio 4’s spoof, Down the Line, the show has late-night phone-in host Gary Bellamy abandon his cosy studio for the open roads of Great Britain and, as the credits are at great pains to point out, Northern Ireland, to meet the people.

These include reformed bank robbers, self-appointed community leaders, opinionated plasterers, hysterical female fans and two elderly sisters, divided by their extreme political views, who converse in a gibberish language of their own making.

Bellamy’s People isn’t startlingly original and is gently amusing rather than thigh- slappingly funny, but it is still worth watching for the beautifully observed performances and the occasional flash of genius in the script. My favourite line came from Higson’s elderly country gentleman, proudly showing off his computer. “If we don’t keep up with the times,” he muses, “we might as well just lie down in the road and be run over by the next pantechnicon.”

Rab C Nesbitt returned after a wee break of 11 years, but not much had changed. Same vest, same suit, same grubby grey bandage and same delicious one-liners.

The Glasgow Tourist Board might despair at the portrayal of their city and its inhabitants, but for everybody else, Rab is a treasure.

Episode One found him trying to restore filial bonds with estranged son Gash, “I am a recovering alcoholic, you are a reformed junkie,” argues Rab. “Let us join hands across the Hepatitis C.”

Only Stwpd Cowz Txt N Drive BBC3, Monday, January 18, 8.30pm

Bellamy’s People BBC2, Thursday, January 21, 10pm

Rab C Nesbitt BBC2, Thursday, January 21, 9.30pm