The Stage

TV Review

Published Monday 1 June 2009 at 15:50 by by Harry Venning

Throughout the week, Britain’s Got Talent offered up no less than five semi-finals, which was about four and a half too many given the paucity of genuine talent on display, leading up to Saturday’s final.

“Up to this point, it’s been all junk” announced Simon Cowell with commendable honesty, and it was hard not to agree.

Junk, and then some. It will take the onset of dementia to erase the memory of obese drag act Peter Coghlan wobbling around in a gold lame bikini. Resolutely rooted to the spot, Coghlan’s unique ability appeared to be miming and marching at the same time, rounding off with his trademark “fluff in the belly button” mime. A gesture he dedicated to Amanda Holden, the lucky girl. Here was an act so free of talent or point that it bordered precariously upon performance art. He didn’t even look like a woman, which I have always believed a prerequisite for a drag act.

At least Coghlan was memorably bizarre. Dance troupe Hot Honeyz were just plain awful, cantering wildly around the stage like pit ponies blinded by sunlight. Finalists Flawless made them look even worse, if such a thing were possible.

Teenage girl duo Harmony were anything but harmonious, but made up for it by being very sweet indeed. “We were really excited!” one offered as explanation for their terrible singing, visibly melting the piece of flint that passes for a heart in Simon Cowell.

Farewell to Pulling which has been, well, pulled.

I can only assume that Pulling’s cynical and acerbic tone did not chime with the brave, new, sunny sitcom world ushered in by the incorrigibly romantic Gavin and Stacey.

Pulling went out with a funny, outrageous, inspired and frequently shocking one-hour special that made a total mockery of the decision to axe it.

Donna is with Steve, who is rich but personality-free. Karen has found true happiness through subjugation to a chauvinistic boyfriend, Louise has returned from abroad with the man who saved her from a mudslide, and Tanya and Oleg are blissfully content, exchanging abuse and adoration in equal measure.

But the course of true dysfunctional love rarely runs smooth, especially when ex-boyfriends Karl and Billy re-appear on the scene with an Italian fiancee and terminal cancer respectively. Plus Louise is getting cold feet.

“You don’t have to live with a man who makes you unhappy,” Donna advises Louise, “unless you have a child. Or a mortgage.”

The show finished on something of an emotional cliffhanger, which allows for the possibility of a change of heart from BBC3 comedy. Which - given that these are the same people who have commissioned a second series of the rancid Coming of Age - seems unlikely.

Britain’s Got Talent ITV1, May 24, 8.30pm, May 25, 9pm, May 26, 8.30pm, May 28, 8.30pm, May 29, 8.30pm (semi-finals), May 30, 6.30pm (final)

Pulling Special BBC3, Thursday, May 28, 9pm