Chit Chat - He stoops to conquer

Published Monday 22 September 2008 at 18:20 by Tabard

The phrase “shameless publicity stunt” popped into Tabard’s head this week, upon reading the news that Andrew Lloyd Webber is planning to offer free theatre tickets to bankers who have just lost their jobs in the current financial meltdown.

Frankly, we are a little surprised that the great ALW would stoop this low in a bid to publicise his productions of The Sound of Music and Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. But let’s give him the benefit of the doubt - perhaps banks aren’t the only institutions feeling the financial pinch at the moment.

This is how ‘The Lord’ (as Graham Norton would have us call him) sees his free ticket offer working - “Both The Sound of Music and Joseph are feel good shows and I thought that free tickets might offer some respite, albeit for a couple of hours, for some of those people who have sadly lost their jobs in the current economic upheaval,” he explains. “All you have to do is present your P45 as proof at the box office and two free tickets are yours.”

Now, we’re a little worried that Lloyd Webber needs it pointing out to him that this is wrong on pretty much every level.

Tabard’s specific problems, however, are threefold.

One - this is grossly insulting to the people who have lost their jobs. Using mass unemployment as a means to promote a West End show is - dare one say it - a little unethical.

Two - does he actually imagine that anyone is going to take up this offer (which we should note is only available on Monday to Thursday performances and only if you have a P45 dated after September 1)? What self-respecting professional banker is going to turn up at a box office waving his P45 in the air to get him (or her) self a couple of free tickets?

And, finally (and most importantly) three - unemployed or not, bankers are hardly the most deprived section of society to be giving out freebies to.

Surely Lloyd Webber could find a more deserving group to lavish his undoubted generosity upon. We’re sure there are plenty of unemployed actors out there who would lap up such an offer…