Chit Chat - Paradise lost

Published Monday 18 August 2008 at 17:20 by Tabard

It’s official. Jesus has gone missing.

Predictably enough, it has happened in Edinburgh, during the month-long feast of debauchery that is the fringe festival.

Be honest - if you were Jesus, you’d probably go missing.

Tabard is guilty of being a little misleading, but the Shitty Deal Puppet Theatre Company really has lost their puppet version of the messiah. Apparently, they left him on the Number 44 bus.

We, personally, find it reassuring that even though he is the Son of God, he still uses public transport - especially as we’ve heard that there are several West End producers who absolutely refuse to mix it with the hoi polloi.

Still, that’s not much consolation for the puppeteers, who have had to draft in an understudy. Apparently, it’s a pirate (Pontius Pirate?). Let’s just hope that nobody needs to anoint his feet, as they’ll get a shock when they find a peg leg. Although, being the (step)son of a carpenter, it seems strangely appropriate.

So, if anyone stumbles across Our Saviour wandering the streets of Edinburgh looking confused and perhaps a little bleary-eyed, first, check he’s not a tramp, then please return him to Venue 29, the Vault.

It might save your eternal soul.