Toilet training

Let’s start with what have been politely described as ‘sartorial and biological differences’ (ie penis-less women have to take down and pull up knickers, trousers, tights, skirts or whatever and seat themselves in an enclosed cubicle to urinate). That takes, on average, 60 seconds, as opposed to the male 35 seconds at a urinal. And all of that is before hand washing. So - architects and co please note - you need almost twice as many facilities for women in a venue as for men if their needs are to be processed at the same rate.

Yes, I know it’s difficult to provide good toilets and enough of them in a historic building which is probably protected by heritage legislation, although I think many managements could try a lot harder. But there is absolutely no excuse for inadequate lavatorial provision in a modern venue. Why, for instance, aren’t there more female loos at the Unicorn Theatre or Shakespeare’s Globe which are new? The long lavatory complex at The Barbican is imaginative but hopeless because women cannot see whether cubicles in the middle are vacant so they queue at the ends. And as for the recently refurbished Royal Festival Hall (cost £90 million plus) women and men now access some of their facilities along the same narrow corridor. That means that, during busy intervals, women queue along the passage way (and sometimes out into the foyer) and men can’t get past to their own lavatories. What untrained idiot dreamed that up?

World Toilet Day would be an ideal trigger for a campaign for the thorough lavatory education and training of anyone who has anything to do with planning, designing or running performance venues.