Dear John
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How do I support my child?
First published 15th June 2006
Question:
My 15-year-old son is very talented and wants a career in showbusiness. I want to support him but not being a performer myself, I'm not exactly sure how to do so.
Answer:
There are some Dear John queries where it can take some detective work to find an expert with suitable specialist knowledge. But in the area of children and young people's performance the opposite is the case. It's a field where there are many 'experts' and specialist services available. As in every other branch of the business, you'll have to be discerning in picking your way through the many people only too happy to offer you advice, tuition, tutus, dance shoes and all manner of other goodies in exchange for your hard earned cash. But it would be churlish to deny that many of the people running academies and Saturday classes are very experienced, very committed and in some cases could teach some of the performers and teachers in the adult field a thing or two. However, with all that expertise flying around it can sometimes be forgotten that, as with any business, it's the customer who counts. So here are some thoughts from two seasoned customers, giving both the parental and young performer's perspective.
What the experts say:
Senya Koroma
Senya Koroma first made an impact as one of Lenny Henry's pupils in two series of the BBC's Hope and Glory, while theatre roles have included everything from Helena in A Midsummer Night's Dream to Jo in A Taste of Honey, for directors such as Antonia Rubenstein and Amanda Redman. Having honed her skills via youth theatre, Senya has continued to find time, alongside her own acting career, to work with the next generation of young actors and performers in workshops, youth projects and with companies such as Safe Ground Theatre.
I think getting the balance right between support and perspective is one of the best ways you can help your son. The nature of this business is that it's about ups and downs and the very fact that one loves to perform means that the times when it's not possible to do that, whether because you didn't get through an audition or perhaps there just aren't any suitable auditions around, can be tremendously frustrating at any age.
But for a young performer who hasn't been in the business long enough to know this is 'the business' it can be a particularly big obstacle. Parents can be really helpful, both by reminding their child that it is not the end of the world if they don't get every part and by also stressing the importance of keeping up training, movement and vocal routines, even when one is not performing. It's a subtle blend of being enthusiastic without pushing and being realistic and not demoralising.
If you can establish a level of trust with your child, you will also help them make up their own minds about all the advice they will receive as they make their way in the business.
Tuition or reviews feedback can be very subjective and even the most well meant advice when it comes from different sources can be mutually exclusive. By supporting them, even when they pick a different option to the one you might have chosen, you'll help them develop the determination and commitment which is often the difference between success and giving up.
Julie Lawson
Together with husband Paul, Julie Lawson has guided the career of their daughter Leanne (now 15) through many auditions and talent shows leading to roles in the Sunderland Empire productions of Hello Dolly and Anything Goes, live performances at Telewest Arena and primetime TV exposure as Brenda Lee on Stars in Their Eyes. Leanne Lawson is currently working on original material for the launch of the next stage of her career as herself. As proof that Julie is anything but a stage parent living the dream through their kids, I couldn't prise a photo out of her for love nor money.
The first thing your son is going to need as a performer is confidence. If he already has that, brilliant - but if not I would advise him to enter as many auditions and talent shows as possible to build it up. However, what you will need to understand as a parent is that even if you are not the typical showbusiness mum or dad, if you are serious about supporting him, you will in effect be entering these same competitions yourself - in the sense that all that time, expense and tension will become a part of your life as much as his.
My husband and I have learned not to let it take over our lives and worked hard to pass that perspective on to our children but equally you will need to accept that if you give the time it needs to seriously support your son's career, there will be less time for many other things.
It's precisely because you and your child will be putting a lot of time and effort into this that I recommend you try as many different types of performance as possible at the beginning. Often it's only by trying that you find where the performer's real strengths lie. You don't want to get locked into pushing a singing career when it emerges the child's real talent is dancing (or vice versa).
As a former dancer myself, I'm a great believer in real experience, which is why I don't advise parents to go broke trying to put their kids through the most expensive stage schools. We found that Leanne learned a lot more in small theatre companies and in local drama schools.
One of the biggest lessons I have had to learn is how many 'sharks' there are out there. You need to look for singing and acting teachers you can trust. Lastly find out as much as you can about the business, whether by reading The Stage or talking to other parents who already have kids on the stage.
Let's face it, you are going to be spending a lot of time sitting together in waiting rooms. Don't be afraid to ask difficult questions and stand up for your child's rights when you have to.
John sums up
I think the key factor to bear in mind is that performer or parent, all of us started out knowing nothing about the business. Senya's advice about looking at all the options before you decide on a path is just as relevant to parents as it is to the young performers themselves. There is a lot of material on children and performance, training and education on this website and a very good 'primer' for any aspiring showbusiness parent, whether your child is three or a teenager, is Janice Hally's book Modelling and Acting for Kids, published by A&C Black. All the best with your homework.
* Senya Koroma is represented by Gray's Management at www.graysman.com
* For more information on Leanne Lawson, contact Tel: 0191 5140777
* Feedback/queries are welcome to dearjohn@thestage.co.uk
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