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Dear John

No respite from resting

First published 15th July 2004

Question:
While my career started well, I haven't had a good acting job for almost a year now. I know resting goes with the territory in this profession, however, months of going to auditions and getting to the final few but never quite getting the part are taking their toll. It's not helping that my two closest friends are thespians in the same boat - our social meetings are getting increasingly depressing. One of my pals in particular inclines towards bitterness in a way that might be funny in the Hamlet comic strip but is really getting me down. I know it's silly but while I know I was born to act, I'm fighting a nagging fear that I will never work again. The worst part is that after all the knock-backs it's getting increasingly difficult to motivate myself to keep going. I'm staying in bed longer and watching far too much daytime TV. At the time when I should be pushing myself harder, I'm finding it increasingly difficult to push myself at all.

Answer:
I'm sorry to hear things aren't going as well as you would like. Resting is part of the job but given the choice, most actors would prefer to be acting, so there is nothing wrong or strange about not feeling good right now. But motivation is about keeping going despite your feelings not because of them. Here are some tips that may help:

1. Prioritise. Rather then setting yourself huge goals and beating yourself up because you are not reaching them, it's much better to acknowledge that while you're feeling down, you may not get everything done, so start each day by listing everything you need to do and then choose the one or two tasks that will make the most difference to your career. Do those tasks first if you can - but whatever else you don't get round to, make sure that at least those valuable tasks get addressed.

2. Watch the company you keep. I'm not suggesting you drop any friends who may also be out of work performers - between jobs we are all out of work performers. And it is certainly hard for anyone outside the profession to fully empathise with the frustration of feeling your talent is unrecognised. But empathy and a pity party are two very different things. If you are telling yourself that you may never work again, you certainly don't need a Greek chorus of colleagues agreeing with you. Seek out people who are optimistic (not naive) and active (not desperate) and work on keeping each other's spirits up.

3. Exercise. When you are out of work it may seem that keeping fit is a waste of time - but this is exactly when looking after yourself is most important. You do not have to join an expensive gym - a regular walk or taking up a sport will do just as well, or a dance class might suit you better. Besides the physical benefits, exercise lifts the spirits and breaks you out of your rut and that is what you most need right now.

4. Accentuate the positive. Keep a list of your successes no matter how small. A successful audition that leads to a job offer is great but any positive comment or feedback even when you did not get the part are indicators you're doing something right. Taking five minutes each night to fill in a 'gratitude journal' might sound silly but it works for me and most people I have suggested it to. The underlying principle, which almost every performer will understand, is that you always get more of what you focus on, so it is better to focus on success.

Speaking of motivation, if any readers are motivated to share their own tips through the Dear John website, I'll be happy to pass them on.