Return to main Advice page

Dear John

Not-so-pushy mum

Question:
I notice that you have been receiving letters from young people wanting to break into the business. I am the parent of one such young person - 12 years old - and am doing my best to be supportive.

On the one hand, I don't want to be a typical stage mum and give my daughter false hope but I do feel she is genuinely talented. On the other hand, there seem to be a huge range of courses, agents and photo studios out there looking for her money, or more to the point, my money!

It may seem silly but I also worry about what would happen if she did become successful. Would she become so surrounded and influenced by professionals that I would lose all influence over her?

I am neither mean nor overbearing and I am perfectly happy to invest time and money in my daughter's career but I do want to help her make the right choices. Can you give me some idea of how to help her move forward?

Answer:
Well, encouragement is a great way to move any career forward but you are right that, as a parent, encouragement needs to be combined with common sense.

You don't mention whether your daughter is already going to drama classes but that is obviously a good place to start. It will also give her a chance to see whether a performer's life really is for her. At this age young people sometimes develop a number of interests - perhaps based on general peer group interests - which may or may not stand the test of time. Even if she does not pursue an ongoing career, drama training will be a help in lots of other areas of life.

As for your concerns about losing control over your daughter, well, that is a challenge for all parents at this age, showbusiness or no showbusiness. However, any reputable professional working with young people in the industry will respect parental authority and aim to work with parents as much as with their kids. Any reluctance to do this is a good indicator that you and your daughter should be looking elsewhere - as are exaggerated promises of stardom and any demand for money up front if you are not sure exactly what you are paying for. On the other hand, when you do find a reputable agency that is prepared to work with you and your child, you should demonstrate your lack of 'stage parent-ness' by listening to what they suggest.

Janice Hally's book Modelling & Acting for Kids (A&C Black) gives very useful guidelines for parents of every aspiring star from babies to teenagers. If Mrs Worthington had read a copy her daughter might well have been still performing today.