ColumnsTo paraphrase Mrs Lovett in Sweeney Todd: “These are probably the worst seats in London,/ I know why nobody cares to take them/ I ache in them, but good? No!”
Spending most of my evenings in theatre seats, I am already well schooled in the relative merits of the seating offered at different theatres around London, not to mention many regional theatres and on Broadway.
But my recent hip replacement surgery threw it all into (lack of) relief: suddenly I was at the mercy, as we always are, of seating environments we can’t ever control, but having to make them work given my specific medical requirements. For the first six weeks after the surgery, I was under direct instruction to make sure that no seat I sat in was lower than 19 inches (a personal measurement, based on my own leg lengths) from the floor, so that my hip was always maintained at a height that was higher than my knees.
That’s a tall order (in every sense), given the state and condition of much theatre seating, which even in refurbished houses often has a seat bottom that is only a few inches from the floor. Step forward, to claim the prize for lowest seats I know, the Novello and Noel Coward Theatres. I carried an orthopedic bolster cushion around me with for a while to give me an extra few inches, but even that wasn’t enough.
I’ve sometimes sought the additional support of the theatre’s own bolster cushions, sometimes helpfully provided for younger patrons. But, as I discovered to my cost at the Piccadilly Theatre on the opening night of Viva Forever!, I was unable to use it as it threatened to disrupt the view of my colleague behind me.
However, even without the special requirements I’ve recently had, some seats are simply awful. My partner already refuses to join me at Trafalgar Studios 2, given how tightly packed the bench seating is both sideways and in terms of negligible leg room, not to mention the bare plank hardness of the seating itself. Earlier this week, after attending the first night of the Donmar Trafalgar’s last production The Silence of the Sea, I realised that it’s time for me to call quits on going there, too.
Clinging precariously to the end of the back row of the centre stalls, sitting in seat C9, half of my right butt cheek was already enjoying the more comfortable provision of the air as opposed to the hard surface of the bench support. But worse than that, there was also a weirdly distorted view of the stage itself: facing ahead, I was presented only with an uninterrupted view of my colleague Fiona Mountford, herself propped up virtually in standing position, in the back row of the side block. (This turned out to be a position she had to adopt: after I tweeted about my terrible seat, she replied:
@shentonstage At least you could put your feet on the floor, though. D8 offers no such luxuries.
— Fiona Mountford (@FionaLondonarts) January 14, 2013
To actually see the stage, I had to look down the funnel of the stairs in front of me, and gain an approximate view of the stage crowded in by heads on all sides. I think it’s simply easier not to go to the Trafalgar Studios 2 in future, so my New Year’s resolution is to strike it off my list.
Upstairs in Trafalgar 1 it has hardly been hitherto much more comfortable, with its steeply raked banks of seats from which the armrests were previously unhelpfully shorn off to cram a few more spectators in. I’m only hopeful that, with the launch of next month’s Trafalgar Transformed season under the auspices of director Jamie Lloyd, the reconfiguration of the auditorium will also look at the comfort factor, too.
These theatres are, of course, sadly far from alone in providing extreme discomfort as part of the package. At some theatres, it is sometimes a price worth paying – though the Finborough’s tiny benches, onto which they improbably seek to accommodate five in space that’s really only enough for four, are excused when the shows are as great as they often there, whereas it takes a lot more to get me anywhere near the King’s Head, where the seating is equally awful but the shows can be worse than the seating.
What are your least favourite theatres in terms of seating? Post your comments below.
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Comments 16 comments
I’d add the Dress Circle at the Garrick as well. Some of the rows have such poor leg room you have to sit at an angle and you still have the seats in front pressing on your knees. Although my most painful memory there was during Peter Pan el Musical, making sleeping through the trauma very difficult.Report comment
I remember on my frequent visits to Les Mis and Spamalot at the Palace, the rear stalls (esp row Q) were very squashed in the legroom department …
So what are/ where are the comfiest?
Should we have “club class” seats in our theatres with more leg room etc?
JCReport comment
I’d add the Menier Chocolate Factory , particularly if on the extreme ends of a row. Recently saw terrific production of Merrily, but enjoyment spoiled by view (and most of what i could hear) being of the band on side stage, and having to twist my body and crane my neck to view the actors on stage. Still missing about 10% vision of stage. And I had a BAD back the next day.Report comment
Shakespeare’s Globe, where the discomfort is authentically medieval.Report comment
Discomfort IS a pain (obviously) but at least you can take in the show of your choice. Fancy seeing all those adverts every day for the hot-ticket musicals & major play revivals and know that, where ever you sit, you’re simply not going to see or hear what’s going on.
Calls box office: “I’m sorry sir – The producers haven’t planned any assisted (i.e. captioned or audio-described) performances”.
Calls producer: “I’m sorry, it’s too expensive/we want to see if the show will run first/it’s down to the theatre (do you know the rent they charge…?)”
So: least favourite theatres? See above.
All hail the venues & producers – both subsidised & commercial operations – that DO build these into their schedules. They also (probably) have more regard for your comfort as a theatregoer or member of the audience. This is not about being PC: this is about building, rather than disregarding potential audiences.Report comment
In most theatres for most productions, different seats offer different experiences. Some of these experiences are objectively better or worse than others and some are more preferable in certain respects but less so in other aspects.
The new Royal Shakespeare Theatre’s deep thrust and 3-D stage and audience mean that there’s no absolutely ideal audience seat location. Each seat has its own individual set of advantages and disadvantages. No seat allows more than a partial experience of a show.
Three of National Theatre Wales’s most recent four shows have been largely promenade – with some limited access to perches – and so each audience member has taken personal responsibility for their viewpoint and its associated quality of experience, within the constraints of each show’s continually changing performance environments.Report comment
I love The Menier Chocolate Factory but at the brilliant Merrily We Roll Along we had to turn sideways to see the stage and in spite of being only 5 feet tall My legs were very cramped. Heaven help any tall person who sits there!
All seats at The National are comfortable with good sight lines.Report comment
Most theatres I go to are uncomfortable as I have long legs, the rows being close together.
Also having leg problems getting up is a struggle.Report comment
I agree that it’s really difficult to find comfy seating, I’m 6ft 2 and some times I feel like I’m risking a DVT sitting through shows. I can forgive old theatres but I hear bad things about leg room at the newly built St James’s, I don’t think theatres take into account how it impacts an audience. It is far easier for me to persuade friends to visit the cinema than theatre for mostly this reason. The most embarrassing seat related incident I witnessed was when a very large gentleman squeezed himself in to a seat at the fortune theatre in the gods and the person next to him complained, causing the house manager to ask him to move to a box where he glowed with embarrassment.Report comment
I’m surprised nobody has quoted Max Bialystock in The Producers: “You’ve heard of theatre in the round? You’re looking at the man who invented theatre in the square! Nobody had a good seat!”Report comment
Oh, surely the balcony at the Haymarket is the most uncomfortable seating in the West End?! When I sat there (for Marguerite) was the only time I’ve seen everyone stand up for the entire interval, and head back to their ‘seats’ with groans for the second act.Report comment
Trafalgar 2 is only doable from an end seat from row or the far corner back row which is wonderful.
Once in trafalgar 1 we had front row seats and they were literally on the floor.
The garrick has to be the worst, uncomfortable and poor views and no legroom upstairs.
I love leicester square theatre for its comfy, roomy seats.
And Waterloo east has excellent seating for fringe.Report comment
Last week I wrote a rather hasty and grammatically awful piece here objecting to the the latest ALW presentations.Because I feel so strongly about this situation I should like to elaborate.
First of all I really cannot understand the programming of “A Chorus Line ” at the London Palladium.Really, apart from ” Rent ” or one or other of the crude,four- letter word sort or musicals that off Broadway in particular specialises in, it is hard to think of a less suitable “musical” for a venue which has it ‘s roots firmly set in family entertainment.
Note that I have put hyphens around the word ” musical because one of my most searing memories of this show is the way it suddenly,seems to turn into a straight play for a prolonged period at one point as the various members of the chorus line here depicted pour out their often quite raw stories.
This is no ” feel good/ glamorous ” musical as the current publicity is trying to portray it; such musicals do not win Pulitizer Prizes. Rather it is a brilliant,hard as nails look at the ” business of show ” and as such it is not something that one would wish to see at the London Palladium. In fact,I am rather surprised to see it being produced anywhere in london bearing in mind the less than enthusiastic it received in this country when it was first premiered here (Remember the Elisabeth Seal fiasco?)
As to the profuction of “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” here I am truly at a loss; no wondet I ended up quoting Judge Welch at the army/Macarthy hearings- it really is that bad. This was never exactly one of Roal Dahl’s more pleasant stories ( did he ever write anything worthy of that adjective in fact?)It is dark,twisted and downright nasty, which is probably what has attracted it to so many producer and directors.
The whole point of this rather sick affair is to revel in child abuse/ torture and even murder and to make a case that really they deserve it ( or at least those children featured here) Now there may have been a time when this sort of story was in tune with society (I hope not though) but this is most assuredly not that time. In case ALW has not noticed this the age of the child sex offender as bogey man- but this spook is real and we do not need fictious stories to ” entertain” us on this horror-ask the BBC (who actually should be funding it!) Again though, this is the wrong musical at the wrong venue. Perhaps Donmar or the National Theatre could just get away with it…,
As to the “Profumo musical” here ALW needs put on his producer’s hat and ask hmself seriously who he thinks will be willing to pay West End prices to see this sleazy old story played out before their “very eyes” (as Arthur Askey would have said) One has to wondet how he becomes so excited by such Material in the first place; it does seem out of character for the composer of frequently religious subjects and themes to become obsessed with ancient,evil. People
I repeat what I have said before, namely that if his Lordship cannot find appealing stories to set to music then don ‘t try! Simply compose and release the result. The best I would expect from this would be a “Beautiful Game” reception Of course if he wants to try to be Sondheim in this regard who am I to judge what he wastes his money on?
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Dear mark Shenton, isn’t it time you got over your kings head bashing?? You do it a lot and its tiresome…Report comment
The worst seating for my money is the Theatre Royal, Brighton. Cramped, sit-up-and-beg … just dreadful. They charge an additional £2 for every seat as a “refurbishment fee.” Refurbishing whose pocket one wonders. I know theatres age, but thank Heaven for Chichester! Theatre Royal Brighton is a disgrace.Report comment
The Palace is terrible at the very top but it’s what expect from an very old theatre.
On the other hand the new St. James seating is very comfortable and has ‘extra leg room’ seats at no extra charge if you just ask.
i recommed checking http://www.theatremonkey.com/STJAMESTHEATREbooking.htm for any theatre before booking.Report comment