Tabard is all for equal opportunities, so was delighted to read that Blackpool is to host the first ever same-sex open international dance competition. What a hoot. Tabard isn’t homosexual, obviously, but has a few friends who are, and it is always lovely to see them dancing cheek to cheek, or ‘pumping and grinding’ as they call it.

Apparently, the event will be hosted by Britain’s Got Talent semi-finalists the Sugar Dandies (never heard of them). It all takes place at the Winter Gardens’ Spanish Hall  on October 27. Organisers have promised spectators will be treated to a “sparkling and sizzling display of same-sex ballroom, Latin and show dancing”.

Sparkling and sizzling? As if it could be anything else. If you think the BBC’s Strictly Come Dancing is camp – Tabard does – then just wait until you see this.

Competitors already registered for the event include Caroline Privou and Petra Zimmermann from Germany, the current Gay Games and Out Games female ballroom champions, as well as Csaba Csetneki and Balazs Gati of Hungary, the current  European male ballroom champions.

Natalie Wyatt, director of Marketing Blackpool – yes, there is such a thing – said the town tries “to cater to as many people as possible to ensure that everyone who visits Blackpool has a fantastic time”.

She added: “This is yet another event where we can say, ‘Blackpool is leading the way’.” Surely she means ‘leading the gay’!

It does sound marvellous, though, doesn’t it? Tabard would be there in a flash if the trains weren’t so expensive, and if there weren’t already several camp dancers to point and laugh at – enjoy, sorry – on Strictly.