Tabard doesn’t want to appear to be fixated on smut – heaven forfend – but a game on Twitter did raise a smile this week. And it was rather naughty. Tweeters were asked to offer up suggestions for musicals whose titles could be turned into #pornmusicals.

Well, Tabard has never seen such outrageous suggestions. So naughty. Quite a few of them couldn’t possibly be repeated in the pages of this respectable newspaper. Some people are just too dirty for words and need to take a very long, cold shower to rid themselves of their filthy ways.

But here are some that Tabard can repeat, with pleasure. Twitterer @samseiv offered up Fiddler on the Poof – which would be offensive if it wasn’t musical theatre we’re talking about – while @TMGLost suggested An American in Paris Hilton. Shocking – but, let’s face it, that probably already exists.

Other firm favourites were @CathLangley’s Orgy and Bess and @FelicityChilver’s The Horny Chaperone. Tabard wonders whether some shrewd producer out there might be paying attention and decide that a late-night adaptation of a musical could indeed work. Imagine the fun that might be had, with the audience filled with men in raincoats having a jolly good time.

Well, it would bring a new audience to the theatre, wouldn’t it? Though the cleaning bills for the upholstery on the theatres’ seats might go sky-high. Perhaps plastic sheets could be brought in for these special performances. #greatidea